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is enlightenment realy the ultimate happyness?

ever since i got into wanting to become enlightened iv been realy depressed
they teach that the world is simply an illusion
that one should drop the ego then one will be happy
'ego' and 'i' doesnt exist and desire is the cause of all pain and suffering
hearing all of this made me think then there is simply no meaning in life no joy nothing i try to become a witness like they teach but this also causes me pain,because i experince no real joy just droping my thoughts and ego,infact i find more happyness,in the things i usualy like,eg reading,experincing,researching things ect,but if this is all just words,and lables,then if i drop all this and just become a witness,theres no real joy i get
what is truth then?

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OlallaHyde

Yeah that's the process. You can't just want to be enlightened and then it happens. There's a lot of "false you" that needs to be peeled away so you can see yourself as you really are. It's painful, unbareable at times...but I have found that once you've started down the path you can't turn back. It gets better though, even when it seems like it isn't getting better and it never will...it does, in it's own time but never in yours.
It's painful because the ego doesn't like it btw. It's the ego that creates/feels/is the pain. The pain body etc..
Also, I have found that the truth is actually wordless. Words, explanations, teachings etc...are meant to point the way to the truth. They are not meant to [i]be[/i] truth. You can find your own ways of unlocking yourself and revealing the truth to yourself. If something isn't speaking to you try something else. Or meditate on/consider deeply the blockage/problem/issue you are experiencing and whats true will come to you on it's own.
Lastly, believe it or not, happiness isn't the holy grail. There's so much more...and even though you may not understand this now, happiness is actually something the ego wants, because it has no real sense of [i]being[/i]. You don't need happiness in order to be you/complete etc...
The truth of [i]being[/i] is not [i]being happy[/i] as opposed to being sad. There is nothing additional - it's just [i]being[/i].
And it feels magic. It's everything.