Does this sound stupid?

For me to not reach out to old profs to pull some strings for me as far as jobs. I don't want them to look bad if I don't perform well. When I was looking for an internship (months ago) I asked a prof and he told me that I need to be serious about it if he's gonna get me in. I ended up declining his offer because of that, AND the fact that I had a job, mandatory volunteering and 5 classes.

I feel like I let myself down too easy.😩