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Getting drunk/high used to be fun but now it only depresses me more

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It sounds like you have much higher goals now, and want a better quality of life. This is a very mature outlook, and I commend you on that. My husband was killed by a drunk driver. Nothing good ever comes from wasting ones life with drugs or alcohol. It’s just a nasty habit that one eventually has to recover from, and wouldn’t have had to, if they had not started in the first place.