What's the best story you have relating to drugs, alcohol, wild behaviour in general?

A pothead, a drunk, an acid-head and J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, high epopt and Slack-Master of the subGenius Church, had all stayed too late into the night in the private backroom of a certain adult establishment. The gal at the front desk was a college student, just wanted to get home and didn't bother to check the back room, so the four of them were locked in. Said the pothead, "We can just sit here... someone will open the place in nine hours." The drunk said "Nah, let's break the door down!" The acid-head said, "Hey man, let's just float out through the keyhole!" Then "Bob" grinned "Great idea!" and floated out through the keyhole. PRAISE "BOB"