I can honestly say that I absolutely hate myself and who i have become

I mean... best wishes in becoming something better.

@Elandra77 I've treated my boyfriend like shit. I've blanked out all of my friends and I've been a bitch to my family. That's why

@Kyrarhianna Maybe they really deserve it and you're overthinking it.

@Kyrarhianna Ok. So start by understanding the things you did to distance and hurt others- which you are on your way to. And then understand that we are all human and we make mistakes. And, as such, most errors can be fixed, BUT it may take time- and it may be humbling. but Humility is a virtue to be learned- and oft the hard way.

Start with your family, if they truly love you , apologize , try to make things right, they will understand and forgive you , most people give a second , and oft more, chances rather easily-as they can remember a time they let others down. So start with them.

Now move on to your bf and friends and attempt to make things right- this may be harder. Not always. There may be apologizing involved, a lot really, and this may be a comeuppance. But one that you have learned early in life. Chances are you will not win all back. some will remain skeptical. But be content, and grateful, for those you do.

But this all starts with you --abs your WANTING to do this- No one can do it for you. Or make you do it. This needs to come form within you .

@HipYoungDude secks no one does that.

@HipYoungDude Good Lord. Lol okey dokey.