When the kid comes home and says the kids at school pushed him into a thorn bush. Why are kids so cruel?

@wudifu I'm not sure violence is the anser, I'm not saying it isn't just, I don't know. I wonder what could have happened to me when I was younger if I fought back instead of accepting. My guess, would have been far worst.

For a man or a boy its essential to defend and look afyer yourself and the ones u love

@wudifu He's a very timid boy and he wouldn't like to hurt anyone. I've asked him if he wanted to be enrolled in boxing or marital arts, but he didn't want to. I've been teaching him to stick up for himself.

@wudifu So, you're talking about that it's different for boys and girls? Boys have to defend themselves and girls no? A bit old fashioned, maybe?

Im old school yes

A boy or man must protect and look after his loved ones and family

I think that anyone, should do that, Men and Women.

Sorry if I'm a bit touchy with the subject, I've suffered a lot for gender differences, I'm sure you're not mean or something. I respect your opinion, but I don't agree.

@Sofi95 I think that both males and females need to stick up for themselves and let people know that they can't walk all over them. I don't think violence is the answer, though, because how much better than them are you if you get physical? I used to be bullied this bad when I was a child too. Unfortunately, I never learnt to stick up for myself in my youth. That's something I learned as I got older. My partner and I have been trying my hardest to teach him how to stick up for himself without getting phsyical and he hasn't grapsed it yet. He told us he doesn't want to be mean. He's such a beautiful boy.

I understand exactly...woman suffer abuse and rape and i dont have anything against woman doing self-defense...i am just saying it is a mans job to protect and be security...i bought my wife a tazer and some pepper spray...i dont expect her to stand her ground to a fully grown strong man or 2 or many...so i have given her stuff she can work with that can jelp desperse people away

@wudifu I still think that most of the times violence brings more violence, if someone fights a bully, there are chances that it gets more phisical. I was never school bullied, maybe a bit teased, my real trouble was at home. So.. I can't really talk about school more than any other student who had seen some cases.

@Sofi95 Get someone to teach him how to defend himself. It is certainly not morally wrong or unethical to defend yourself against bullies. There are many tactics for avoiding a fight, and diplomacy and other tactics (a sense of humor, asking others to help etc.) can also be taught. But physical defense skills are important. Get someone to teach him how to deal with aggression. Let him know it takes time and practice to get better at it; it doesn't come naturally to many people. I am not speaking here of martial arts, but of a few good, practical defensive fighting techniques that can be learned in a short time. And also the right attitude, the right words to use for bullies so as not to escalate confrontations but not appear weak. He needs some help with this.

Studies show that bullies will nearly always back off permanently if confronted strongly and confidently the first time they aggress on a potential victim. After that first time, it is much harder because once they select a victim they tend to keep on victimizing that person. He needs to know that. Bullies, by definition, pick on those they feel can't defend themselves. So he may not be able to make progress at first with these current bullies, since he's already been victimized. When he gets a change of classes, grade levels, or a new school, he will then have a brand new chance to remove himself from the victim category by confronting bullies right away when he first encounters them. Make sure he is emotionally, and physically, ready to do this.

@Sofi95 yes at home it different hey

But i do agree violence brings violence but if u just stand back you will eventually change into a person u not fond of and usually if u make a example of someone or the bullie of the playground...you will get recognition and will feel good about yourself and convident and people will start looking up to you for doing the right thing

@greenmountaingal My partner and I have been teaching and guiding him through everything. What my partner can't teach him, I can. What I can't teach him, my partner can. When he talked to him about marital arts or boxing, he eventually actually broke down and told us that he didn't want to because he didn't want to be mean, no matter how much we told him it wasn't. He has such a kind heart and we are very proud of him. We will talk to him again about what you suggested and explain to him that it's not mean.

He's been through a lot recently and being bullied is the last thing he needs. We just want him to be a happy and healthy boy and we are putting everything we can into raising him right.

@lauriethecolourful Boxing or martial arts are not the answer here (unless he wanted to do this). He just needs a few basic skills in terms of everyday street fighting. Men are by nature more physically aggressive and more likely (at least statistically) to become violent. Everyone needs basic self-defense skills; girls get bullied too and need to grow up knowing what to do if attacked. But it is an even more necessary skill for boys who are expected to be able to take care of themselves and will suffer more social rebuffs if they are not able to do so.

@lauriethecolourful You need to explain that it is not "mean" to defend yourself against an aggressor; he needs to understand that he needs to care about himself and not allow himself to be the victim of meanness. He has as much of a right to be safe and well as anyone else does.

Usually people that end up punching each other become best friends in the long run

I have a boy and took him to a boxing club...he didnt want to do it anymore cause he didnt want to fight and i respect that but u shpuld have seen how happy he got when he did climb in the ring and started to throw punches and after the fight they shook hands and they train together also...

If people pick on you once and see u dont do anything then your an easy target and it can damage your confidence in life about any choices u make in the long run

So its really not good to be on the receiving end all your life...you have to sstand up for yoirself when it is really needed

@greenmountaingal Of course. When I say marital arts, I also mean self-defense classes for children. It's just to defend yourself without hurting anyone else. I know this sweet boy will find friends that love him for him someday.

@wudifu Take it from someone who was bullied in school...you are right! When I got older, I learned to fight. The girl who bullied me in school had several older brothers who had taught her to fight (obviously, her parents neglected teaching her what was acceptable behavior). She was a little pipsqueak of a girl and with only a little training in how to defend myself, I could have subdued her. And, as you pointed out, we might have even wound up friends. Self-defense is a very important skill for kids.