Do narcissists ever really care about another but blame them if things don't work out?

@RubySoo Seems so, sad really.

It's sad for the people involved with them. I don't think it bothers them .....they love themselves so much They can not see their own faults. So they won't feel sad...just make others sad by making them believe they are not good enough x

@RubySoo Sorry, I wasn't clear enough. I meant sad for the other person. I agree with you completely.

@Zoranna it is. I got close with a person once. Destroyed my self-esteem and confidence. Its only once out the other end you can see how bad things were x

@RubySoo Sorry to hear that, hope you're okay now. It didn't happen to me but to a friend of mine.

@Zoranna yea...thank you. Took a long long time.
One day he said something to me....that was sim one step too far. I put the phone down.....and have never ever seen or spoken to him again. He messages occassionally ...but to never reply.

@RubySoo You've been very strong, good for you!

@Zoranna thank you. Things are never as simple as they sound here. But...it took almost 9 years to get to where I am now...9 years from I met him....got to know him....realised what he was really like and not being able to do anything about it. The last 5 years were hell.....

@RubySoo Oh gosh. :-( That's a helluva long time to finally realise he wasn't worth it or you. Hope you meet someone wonderful soon, even though you're probably not looking. You deserve it. 🤗

@RubySoo @Zoranna

THEY HAVE NO EMPATHY.
THAT IS THEIR DEFINING CHARACTERISTIC.
THAT IS LACKING FROM THEIR BRAIN .

IT CAN NOT BE TAUGHT, BUT IT CAN BE FAKED.
SOME CAN REALLY FOOL YOU PRETTY GOOD! ;(
(Well, initially.)

~~~

They have three stages to their romance /love affair.

[b]1- Love bombing[/b]

(This can be really fun and totally we feel swept off our feet and adored. It can even feel too much too soon/excessive/too perfect.
And it in fact IS.)

[b]2- Devalue.[/b]

(Undermining you, degrading/put downs, also gaslighting, etc.
When we are literally tortured and we usually feel crazy, and worse, ETC.)

[b]3- Discard.[/b]

(Like a surgical cut, sometimes.
Totally up to them; when you have outlived your utility.)

@LunadelobosIAMTHEDRAGON yup...spot on x

@LunadelobosIAMTHEDRAGON You have laid that out expertly. You've obviously experienced it, and I'm so sorry you did. :-(

[center][/center]@RubySoo @Zoranna

Tragic that so many actually go through this!
We endure so much agony and some of us, we do not come out of it alive!!!!

I thought I was (finally) with a GOOD guy...Not too long ago.

And, oh boy, have I been through my share of HELLs with Crazy (plural).


Anyhow, so, re the last crazy dude, who was my BF:
After one weekend of ERRATIC behaviour and then there was some Devalue from him...
Drove me home and we had this FKD up conversation and it WAS DEVALUE. OH Wow.
I let him know where I stood.
And I really HAD MY BACK.
I remember him looking at me, with a look in his eyes like...ODDLY...
He was looking at me like I am some thing he does not recognize...It was a strange, unpleasant look. Disconcerting is a good word for it.

Later....
I am home and it HITS ME LIKE A TON OF BRICKS...!!!
I had to google it you see.
He did only the devalue over a few days.
And the Discard WAS: I never heard from him again.



[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=19&v=I3EAh7-bXjk]

@LunadelobosIAMTHEDRAGON It's heartbreaking how they can fool people so completely. :-( Thanks for posting the clip, I shall definitely watch it later. I do hope you find someone who deeply and sincerely cares for you soon, you deserve it.

@Zoranna Thanks dear. (((Hugs))) I wish that for all of us :) !

Yes.
It is alarming and it's TERRIFYING the statistics...
Psychopaths are so convincing, they even fool specialists.

It's in the clip.

Hugs, Luna. 🤗🌺👭

@LunadelobosIAMTHEDRAGON You're very welcome. :-) 🤗 🥂