Well I can't say nothing too you cause by the looks of it you have a lot answers and awareness about yourself.
What I can say about AA , the say to compare is to compete . Comparing drives you out of the rooms .
You had a traumatic event happen you at your life. You were broken before your drank and that's not your fault .
You probably drank to fill that hole in your soul .
When you get sober after traumatic event , you said it , you don't get dependant on other people making you happy . It's the higher power you said it . Don't get caught up with all the AA lingo in meetings about ego and all of that crap .
If you take notice of what everyone is saying in AA you'd in up the looney bin without any drink .
😂😂😂.
Take what you need my friend in AA if you go back sometime . There's nice people in there also and sober people .
Don't get caught up with that ego thing at all cause if someone people had a chance you"d end up saying nothing . You be like a statue 😂😂😂.
I will recommend a book for you
It's called
" Melody Beattie Co Dependant no more "
It's a great book . It's nice and easy and very simple