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Happiness is a Choice - Hope and Faith Give Us Power

Why do I sometimes lack "empathy" (I don't).

You will see in my responses to a lot of negative emotion posts (well the non-political ones) an attempt to draw someone away from emotional thinking to logical thinking. Emotion is somewhat uncontrollable and if destructive you need to control it. Just let it sit and move on top of it with the superego.

If it is good..you just go with it. But if it is bad, you have to logically pull yourself out. You have to alter your thinking from inside. With this in mind, I do not necessarily attempt to respond back to your emotions, I try to get you to become stoic about them, to try to master them. Logically, you can analyze your emotions and place "hope or faith" over top of them. Or at the very least, decrease your ego suffering by realizing how little you mean with your insignificant suffering compared to the universe (but at the same time you mean so much as part of an amazing universe).

Reading Buddhism is really helpful in learning how to do this. One of the best books I have read is "The Art of Happiness". For depression a book called "The Depression Cure".

Remember, you have to take responsibility for your own happiness. You need to control what you think. For what you think is the sum of your existence. Every function of your body and what it registers is a receptacle to your brain. Your brain (thinking) is you, master it.

If you have a Borderline Personality Disorder. Self talk is one of your more important weapons. If you brain is broken chemically, you have not choice but to correct it with chemicals. However...personal understanding and control will help with every situation.
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AliceInBlunderland · 36-40, F
I must unfortunately disagree with the idea of happiness being a choice. How one feels and acts towards a situation is based on experience and how one learns to cope with it but, happiness in and of itself is not a choice unless you are somehow able to delude yourself into not seeing the reality around you for what it truly is.

If one were to be born what most would consider a freak with poor health and spend their entire life used for what little they are worth, abused and abandoned by those who should have been there for them while they themselves are left with nothing left to truly live for while in constant physical and emotional pain then I can see no reason for said person to live let alone be happy with the idea of anything other than death. One can hide their feelings from others but they can never escape them in a healthy way without the exception of a major life improvement which may or may not be possible or a memory wipe if ever possible.

Please don't get me wrong, I will always believe in self improvement and it may still be possible that said person may be helped in the future and even find a reason to live and be happy but, I myself just cannot believe that one can be truly happy regardless of the situation just based on positive thinking alone.
okaybut · 56-60, M
@AliceInBlunderland I will take this thought under consideration.
okaybut · 56-60, M
@AliceInBlunderland You should post some stuff.
AliceInBlunderland · 36-40, F
@okaybut Perhaps I will but, I honestly don't like talking about my personal life so I intend to avoid such topics.
Carissimi · 70-79, F
@AliceInBlunderland I agree with you. Happiness ensues, it is not a choice. Meaningful engagement, having purpose, feeling loved, cared for, and supported, giving love and care to other beings all brings together a sense of equilibrium and peace and contentment. If you are missing these life giving qualities, then as Rumi said, “ life without this beautiful love is nothing but a burden.” I can attest to this.

Positive thinking has utility under certain circumstances, but it’s not the be all and end all of the pursuit of happiness, which actually cannot be pursued. Happiness ensues. There is fake happiness, but that’s not happiness, but many think it is. If one is trying to be happy, that’s not happiness. Better to look for more positive experiences in daily life than be saying, “I’m happy, I’m happy, I’m happy,” trying to convince yourself of an untruth.
okaybut · 56-60, M
@Carissimi Well said. :)