I hired a cleaner. It's been a chaotic day.
I woke up and shortly after Sara the cleaner was at the door, and I had to let her in and walk all around the house trying to find mom but it appears she had a family friend pick her up in her pickup Truck and haul her off to get a Mattress for my Sister because we went Garage sailing and got her a Bed frame the other day, so she wants somewhere to kick her out to as after we threw my old mattress out since she wasn't using hers they gave me it months and months prior, she's been going to bed in moms bed with her ever since dad croaked.
but that threw me for a lurch, I had powerful feelings about this, I just didn't want to communicate them, but in essence I don't mind hiring outside help with the cleaning, but if I direct them in here, I don't Want to be here when they're working in here because I'm embarrassed about how out of hand its gotten, and I didn't do enough to Stress all this to mom. So she forgot Sara was coming in the first place, and so by the time she got here, I had to direct her to clean the kitchens instead. Although we still had the car, there was no way Nicole was going to give me it unless Mom directed her to pass over her keys.
When I finally told her why I had done things that way, she said she would have scheduled things differently if she had been fully informed.
I said I would have pushed the dates back myself if I knew too. All around, there was a failure to communicate.
In either event, she was upset because I pinned it on her defensively when she went after me for not pushing her into my bedroom when I stood up for myself by pointing out her not being at home, which threw me for a loop because I wanted to be GONE while someone was working in here.
Finally, I broke down and told her I'm just embarrassed I let it get this far out of hand, and I'm not paying to be humiliated.
I'm paying to get the place cleaned up. We did make up over it ultimately, but there was a lot of tension.
The kitchen was cleaned up, though. She did do 20 minutes in here, and it's a lot better. I set up Microsoft to do to remind me to put in my ten minutes in here daily, so that it doesn't get worse between now and hiring the cleaners again in likely two weeks.
So how's that for working on myself? I hope the software will keep it from ever getting this way again. Between Sara and my new Resolution to actually put in the ten minutes daily by using Software to remind me.
but that threw me for a lurch, I had powerful feelings about this, I just didn't want to communicate them, but in essence I don't mind hiring outside help with the cleaning, but if I direct them in here, I don't Want to be here when they're working in here because I'm embarrassed about how out of hand its gotten, and I didn't do enough to Stress all this to mom. So she forgot Sara was coming in the first place, and so by the time she got here, I had to direct her to clean the kitchens instead. Although we still had the car, there was no way Nicole was going to give me it unless Mom directed her to pass over her keys.
When I finally told her why I had done things that way, she said she would have scheduled things differently if she had been fully informed.
I said I would have pushed the dates back myself if I knew too. All around, there was a failure to communicate.
In either event, she was upset because I pinned it on her defensively when she went after me for not pushing her into my bedroom when I stood up for myself by pointing out her not being at home, which threw me for a loop because I wanted to be GONE while someone was working in here.
Finally, I broke down and told her I'm just embarrassed I let it get this far out of hand, and I'm not paying to be humiliated.
I'm paying to get the place cleaned up. We did make up over it ultimately, but there was a lot of tension.
The kitchen was cleaned up, though. She did do 20 minutes in here, and it's a lot better. I set up Microsoft to do to remind me to put in my ten minutes in here daily, so that it doesn't get worse between now and hiring the cleaners again in likely two weeks.
So how's that for working on myself? I hope the software will keep it from ever getting this way again. Between Sara and my new Resolution to actually put in the ten minutes daily by using Software to remind me.
