What if we tried kindness?

I have been noticing something very sad here on SW, and I am positive it is happening on all social media. Because some folks are drawn into a daily anger-rage cycle on social media, eventually they lose the ability to tell when others are being kind, sincere, or perhaps even sharing their point of view. They scroll the post, their eyes scanning the words(but not really reading and comprehending what they read) until they find an offending word, or maybe even a sentence. The post may be paragraphs long, but their minds will find something, even if they must misunderstand the post, to get angry about. It is NOT their fault. Every time you engage in the anger-rage cycle, your brain generates new neural pathways.

"Engaging in the anger-rage cycle can reinforce negative neural pathways in the brain, making it easier to react with anger in the future. This cycle can lead to increased emotional responses and difficulty in regulating anger, impacting overall mental health and relationships."

Wikipedia
ahead-app.com

"The anger-rage cycle can lead to intense emotional states that impair cognitive processes, making it difficult to think clearly or make rational decisions. This cycle often results in aggressive behavior and can damage relationships and overall mental health."

masteringanger.com
greaterbostonbehavioralhealth.com

What if, even if it is just here on SW,( This could work because of its smaller size compared to many social media), we tried something both selfish and selfless? What if we take a 90-second pause before responding, because this helps you let go of the emotional response and engage rational thought, as the video below shows. What if, after this pause, we respond with as much kindness as we can muster? This is selfish because it stops our brains from making new negative neural pathways, and it is selfless because the other person will not be able to rage, so their brains will not create more negative neural pathways. If the other person refuses to stop, even if you respond with kindness, you can always say nothing at all. Most of us remember the old saying. "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. This will still stop ( eventually) the destructive anger-rage cycle for the other person as they run out of fuel because you are not responding back. As a last resort, and this is still caring about the other person's mental health ( and your own), you can block and stop the anger rage cycle.

I put the options in the order I did because if you can train your mind to pause for 90 seconds and respond with compassion and control of your thoughts, you will develop new positive neuro pathways in your brain to combat the negative ones. If you can be patient enough to let the other person calm down and run out of emotional fuel, and they start to respond with similar thoughts and kindness, they will develop new positive neuro pathways to combat their negative neuro pathways. Not responding at all still helps you gain control over your own mind, and gives the one raging at you time to exhaust all their negative emotional fuel. Blocking stops either side from making growth, but it also stops any more negative neuro pathways from being developed.

What if we all just tried this, here on SW, for a while? I think it could help. I am not immune to these cycles. I have been drawn into a few anger-rage cycle discussions, too. I usually run away and hide until I can compose myself, as I am thin-skinned. I used to think this was a bad thing, but now I realize it isn't. Being thin-skinned and being able to genuinely care about others is a gift to be guarded at all times.

These are just some middle-of-the-night thoughts because I can't sleep, but what if it could work?🤔

[media=https://youtu.be/wDzhM8CW90A]

RogueLodyte · M

I think there is enough phony REQUIRED positivity today. I can be kind without all the REQUIRED love bombing.

Journaling4MeAgain · 56-60, F

@RogueLodyte I am confused about the meaning of REQUIRED positivity. I googled it and even asked AI, but nothing could give me an answer. I agree that no one should be phony in anything. It is clear, if anyone reads any of my other posts, that I lack the ability to be phony. Even if I could fake my emotions, why would I? What good would that do anyone? I am not speaking of fake positivity in my post. I am speaking of taking a 90-second pause before responding to anything. My response after a 90-second pause will still hold the same emotion I had before the 90-second pause, but it is expressed with a little less heat. I have heard a lot of people talk about love bombing, but I am not a seasoned social media user, and I have never experienced this. From what I understand about this, it seems very manipulative. I do thank you for your comment. It is very nice to hear everyone else's thoughts on this. It is nice to be able to talk in this constructive manner. Thank you.🙂

RogueLodyte · M

@Journaling4MeAgain AI could give no answer because I actually have original thoughts outside the box. What I mean by required positivity is that a gushy, agreeing, bubbly, coddling, love bombing attitude is required to create and maintain friendships in today's society.
Anything less and a "real" person is branded as a mean-spirited troll and a narcissist who hates himself 🙄.

When everyone agrees, only one person is doing the thinking. 🙂