I miss Mike so much

I admit. All this time I've got a little crush on him. But I hid it, cause I didn't want to ruin the friendship I've had with him for so long. I felt like a second choice, to be honest. It's like whenever his other friends are not around it's when he'll message me back then. I was happy whenever a friend got left by him or left him. I disguised my feelings by acting supportive when he got with my friend. And now he left me, cause of a drama. I didn't even know what I did, truly. I want to know. I promise I'll change.