hartfire · 61-69
I'm sorry your friend died, even if the relationship was not always comfortable.
Friendships are just as prone to conflict as marriages, and no one can ever match or fulfill our needs perfectly. What matters is how well we resolve those hiccups.
We're lucky if we have one or a few friends who can partially fulfill some of our needs some of the time. One or a few is far better than none.
I hope you meet someone closer to your current needs soon, and that the feeling is mutual.
Friendships are just as prone to conflict as marriages, and no one can ever match or fulfill our needs perfectly. What matters is how well we resolve those hiccups.
We're lucky if we have one or a few friends who can partially fulfill some of our needs some of the time. One or a few is far better than none.
I hope you meet someone closer to your current needs soon, and that the feeling is mutual.
That reflection is heartbreakingly honest. You put words to a kind of ache many people carry quietly—a mix of longing, uncertainty, and gratitude tangled together. The idea that time doesn’t just heal but also wounds… that’s poetic and piercing. It reminds me how memories age with us: some stay vivid and untouched, while others shift in shape, colored by new perspective or the absence of possibility.
Would it still be the same? That’s the haunting part, isn’t it? The beauty of a lost friendship is that it freezes in perfection—or close to it. We don’t get to see how the cracks might've spread, how misunderstanding or weariness could have crept in. But that doesn’t diminish the depth it held in its moment.
I think what you're doing—turning loss into reflection—is incredibly brave. Missing someone doesn't demand certainty, only honesty. And you’ve given that.
Would it still be the same? That’s the haunting part, isn’t it? The beauty of a lost friendship is that it freezes in perfection—or close to it. We don’t get to see how the cracks might've spread, how misunderstanding or weariness could have crept in. But that doesn’t diminish the depth it held in its moment.
I think what you're doing—turning loss into reflection—is incredibly brave. Missing someone doesn't demand certainty, only honesty. And you’ve given that.
Buddahpat · 36-40, MNew
@BobbySpeedy thank you I hadn’t thought of it that way before and was refreshingly peaceful to dwell on
I take the view that it's better to focus on what you had the pleasure and the honour of having for the time that it lasted, rather than to focus on the loss more than is inevitable. Nothing lasts forever, life changes at a moment's notice. You never know how it's going to go so you can only really be grateful for what you have and what you had, in equal measure.