I Think Good Friends Are Rare

@ThePerfectUsername but....its not easy to know the difference.

I had a friend here once. She gave me a name to know her by and we often i didnt ask her age but she had teenage kids and we talked about work, kids ....then she left. I later found out she was a he.....id no real reason to doubt the things we talked about werent real.....but obviously after that....it made me weary!

@RubySoo This is true

Deceit is rife on the internet and a lot of it does seem to correlate directly to anonymity. Men (I think - unless they're being sexually or financially catfished) are typically less likely to become a target than women but it has crossed my mind a time or two how I'd feel if it happened to me. I'd like to be able to think "well at least we made a genuine connection while it lasted even if they think they did have to pretend to be someone else in order to make it" but until it actually happens and I find out about it I don't honestly know. @RubySoo

@ThePerfectUsername actual connections are not something i shall seek in the future. Its always been what im all about.....but not any more.
Time to toughen up. Anyone who tries to spill the beans to ne ever again will be blocked. Im not being anybodies sounding board ever again. (online i mean of course)

The end game is in sight for me too ruby. It's still a fair way off at the moment but when it does finally arrive I'll be gathering up the one true jewel I found here and carrying her over into real life and concentration all future efforts on the family I already have. Nobody can give selflessly for ever, not even me. @RubySoo

@ThePerfectUsername But how do you know they are honest. It seems like a contradiction.
The way we treat anonymity with using google pictures and keeping all these secrets, is bordering on fake. We're becoming closer to robotic entities instead of real persona's.

It's quite simple. People who genuinely want and are ready to make permanent connections will exchange email addresses, FB pages, RL addresses, they'll video chat every chance they get and even exchange rl gifts through the post. And sooner or later you have to ask why - if someone's not able to do all that - they still complain about not being able to find any real friends. @SW-User

@ThePerfectUsername but no everybody wants their online activities mixing with real life. Its not a case of hiding or not being honest. Its require real trust to do that.
You said yourself that an anonymous friend who is honest is worth more than a lair. Just because someone wants to remain anonymous doesnt necessary mean they cant be a good friend?
I ve always liked deeper connections myself.....but im sure not going there anymore.

[quote]Just because someone wants to remain anonymous doesnt necessary mean they cant be a good friend? [/quote]
The key word you chose to omit from your version of what I'd said is [b]honest[/b]. Honesty being defined in the good old fashioned way as [b]The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth[/b].

And in my life if there's no mutually recognised need for anonymity then all bets are off. In the OP's case her anonymity has a history of division and deceit. And in your case I'd suggest that honesty isn't even on your wish list for what you're looking for in a person... but for me without honesty you might as well be chasing unicorns. @RubySoo

@ThePerfectUsername honesty is most certainly on my wish list. But just because somebody here doesnt want to share there full name or where they live doesnt necessarilly make them dishonest.
Im like you.... i like friendships to be deeper than just a hi ..and i like them to last....but not everyone does....but it still doesnt make them dishonest?

[quote]just because somebody here doesnt want to share there full name or where they live doesnt necessarilly make them dishonest. [/quote]
See [b]"mutually recognised need for anonymity"[/b] above. If I aren't eventually made aware of and recognise a person's NEED for anonymity (a need, not a want) then I'll probably just assume it's nothing more than their way of deceiving someone and move on.

[quote]Im like you.... [/quote]
You're not. Honesty trumps everything for me. Even if it has to be brutal. Rather that than some sort of fakery I'll never get my head round.

[quote]i like friendships to be deeper than just a hi ..and i like them to last....but not everyone does....but it still doesnt make them dishonest?[/quote]
No, just shallow and superficial. @RubySoo

@ThePerfectUsername yesi agree with you. But even shallow superficial people arent always dishonest.

[quote]But even shallow superficial people arent always dishonest.[/quote]
Honesty being defined in the good old fashioned way as;
The truth, [b]the whole truth[/b], and nothing but the truth.

You don't think showing only carefully selected parts of yourself is inherently deceitful? I do, if you're making any sort of claim involving friendship.
@RubySoo

@ThePerfectUsername please message me....lets talk about this properly because i dont know what ive done?

I have no requirement to talk about it further until such time as you're able to understand the things I've already said and that no malice was ever intended. I was wrong about one fact in particular that I wasn't aware of - but so far as I can see that should have been covered by [b]the whole truth[/b] part of my last post. You simply can't keep so-called friends in the dark that way then blame any misunderstanding on them for not chasing you up personally to double check that what you'd written was in fact The Whole Truth. You've thrown my best attempt at friendship away and I honestly don't know that I'll ever want to go there again with you. @RubySoo

@ThePerfectUsername i told you in a private message what it was about. I didnt say everything publically because not everyone thats reads public threads are my friends....or Nunos friends and those people didnt need to know everything.

Ive appologised and tried my best to explain my reasons....i can do no more.
Stay safe and look after yourself.