I miss my best friend so much

Okay so I know that the title might sound dumb but I don’t know how else to sum it up. So basically I met this girl when we were nine and we were so close for so long but then she had to move to Lisbon for her dad’s job. She was really upset about it so I knew that I had to be the strong one and cheer her up because even though it broke my heart that she was leaving, it would only make the situation worse if I had showed that. So she went off to Portugal and we promised to keep in touch and for the first year we did a pretty good job, but then we started drifting. Maybe this started when we were playing valorant and she added her new best friend Azzah, and I couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming feeling of jealousy whenever they would bring up their plans for the upcoming weekends, or they would laugh about their inside jokes because these were things that my best friend and I used to do. I know it sounds pathetic and I really tried to be happy for her because she was happy with her new life, but I couldn’t get over the feeling that she had replaced me. She started doing things which we used to do with Azzah and it hurt because those were the things which we considered ‘our things’ and my jealousy only grew because of it. Of course I could never express this to anyone without sounding like a hateful bitch, and even if I did I doubt that they would understand, so I just suffered in silence. Of course, I still tried to keep in touch but her replies got more and more distant. So now here I am, a year later and I’ve made the horrible mistake of reading our old texts. It breaks my heart to see how close we were since she was probably one of the only people I’ve ever truly trusted and she just understood me in a way which no one else did, but that’s gone now. I know that all probably sounded whiny and pathetic but I just needed to get it off my chest and I didn’t want to burden my friends with my ranting.