I Would Rather Have No Friends Than Fake Friends
DUMPING THE TRASH. 😂😂😂😂😂😳
I have dumped people whom I thought of as friends. Discovering, after several years, that it was only a friendship on one side, is heartbreaking, but in some cases it is like being given the gift of freedom.
I don't like being used by people I call friends. Using isn't my thing. Not that I don't make use of my friends skills and kind offers of help when I need them,,but it is always reciprocal. True friends are there for each other.
The few friends I've walked away from showed in no uncertain ways that they did think of me as a good person to have around, but only as a free cleaning lady, or moving helper, or baby sitter, or handy wo/man. Very grateful for anything I did, but the very first time I needed some help, they said no. Flat out no. Not even " sorry, I can't" just a laugh, like hah!! NO!
One person I thought of as a friend for more than ten years, proved, in one day, that I was no more or less important to her than the washing machine. She asked for my help cleaning her house, because she was having a couple of friends over for brunch.
Her instructions, (I'm paraphrasing because this was a very long time ago)
"Come early and get the kitchen and dining room done first. Then the powder room. When my friends arrive, you can do the upstairs, but be quiet until they leave. You can vacuum the upstairs after lunch. Oh and bring a lunch. You can eat upstairs in the den. Just don't come down while they're here. They don't know I have a cleaning lady"
A cleaning lady! Ten years I helped her because she had arthritic knees. I never charged her a cent for that help. And she called me her cleaning lady. That was annoying, but I thought perhaps this was a meeting for the church ladies. She was on the church committee for planning events, like fundraisers or Easter or Christmas dinner, etc. So, It didn't really bother me. It wasn't until after the brunch that I found out it was just two "dear friends" and I was excluded.....because, what? I wasn't a dear friend. COLD! But oh well, you make allowances for your friends....right? Sure!! At least, I do.
Then the straw that broke the camel's back......
She was selling her old bedroom set because she was buying a new one. I asked her how much she wanted for it because my daughter needed one and her husband wasn't working so I was going to buy it for her.
My FRIEND laughed at me and told me I couldn't possibly afford to pay what she wanted to get for it.
I got my coat and purse. I left. Didn't even say goodbye. She didn't even realize I had left. She thought I was elsewhere in the house doing my job.
When I got home, there was a message on my machine saying I had walked out in the middle of a job and left her in a terrible mess and I'd better have a really god reason for being so thoughtless.
I never returned her calls. Never answered when her number showed up on my display. Eventually she stopped trying. Months went by and she didn't call. One day, I got home from work, there was a message on my machine telling me she understood I might be avoiding her because I was embarrassed about leaving her in a mess that day,
"But all is forgiven. Can you come and clean my place so I can get my Christmas decorations up? I'm having a few friends over and I'd like it to look festive".
That was the day I called Bell Canada and got call blocking on my phone. She was the first person I ever blocked.
What an honour; eh?
Serenitree
GOOD DAY.
NOV. 16/16
10:03 am
ejk
I have dumped people whom I thought of as friends. Discovering, after several years, that it was only a friendship on one side, is heartbreaking, but in some cases it is like being given the gift of freedom.
I don't like being used by people I call friends. Using isn't my thing. Not that I don't make use of my friends skills and kind offers of help when I need them,,but it is always reciprocal. True friends are there for each other.
The few friends I've walked away from showed in no uncertain ways that they did think of me as a good person to have around, but only as a free cleaning lady, or moving helper, or baby sitter, or handy wo/man. Very grateful for anything I did, but the very first time I needed some help, they said no. Flat out no. Not even " sorry, I can't" just a laugh, like hah!! NO!
One person I thought of as a friend for more than ten years, proved, in one day, that I was no more or less important to her than the washing machine. She asked for my help cleaning her house, because she was having a couple of friends over for brunch.
Her instructions, (I'm paraphrasing because this was a very long time ago)
"Come early and get the kitchen and dining room done first. Then the powder room. When my friends arrive, you can do the upstairs, but be quiet until they leave. You can vacuum the upstairs after lunch. Oh and bring a lunch. You can eat upstairs in the den. Just don't come down while they're here. They don't know I have a cleaning lady"
A cleaning lady! Ten years I helped her because she had arthritic knees. I never charged her a cent for that help. And she called me her cleaning lady. That was annoying, but I thought perhaps this was a meeting for the church ladies. She was on the church committee for planning events, like fundraisers or Easter or Christmas dinner, etc. So, It didn't really bother me. It wasn't until after the brunch that I found out it was just two "dear friends" and I was excluded.....because, what? I wasn't a dear friend. COLD! But oh well, you make allowances for your friends....right? Sure!! At least, I do.
Then the straw that broke the camel's back......
She was selling her old bedroom set because she was buying a new one. I asked her how much she wanted for it because my daughter needed one and her husband wasn't working so I was going to buy it for her.
My FRIEND laughed at me and told me I couldn't possibly afford to pay what she wanted to get for it.
I got my coat and purse. I left. Didn't even say goodbye. She didn't even realize I had left. She thought I was elsewhere in the house doing my job.
When I got home, there was a message on my machine saying I had walked out in the middle of a job and left her in a terrible mess and I'd better have a really god reason for being so thoughtless.
I never returned her calls. Never answered when her number showed up on my display. Eventually she stopped trying. Months went by and she didn't call. One day, I got home from work, there was a message on my machine telling me she understood I might be avoiding her because I was embarrassed about leaving her in a mess that day,
"But all is forgiven. Can you come and clean my place so I can get my Christmas decorations up? I'm having a few friends over and I'd like it to look festive".
That was the day I called Bell Canada and got call blocking on my phone. She was the first person I ever blocked.
What an honour; eh?
Serenitree
GOOD DAY.
NOV. 16/16
10:03 am
ejk
