That is sad to hear, I have had that problem. I have had many people where sometimes I have a lot if time with them and sometimes they ghost me. I can be your friend, if you want to talk on the phone we can exchange numbers. A lot of people on here dint have anywhere in person to make friends, most of my friends are either from work, the site meet up or college.
PoisonLace · 41-45, F
@Girlyfriendcollecting thanks. I appreciate that.
In all fairness, that depends on how one describes "friend" and "communication."
I had a friend for like 6 years and we were extremely close like sisters, but a couple of months ago, I was unable to devote all my time to her, as she expected, and I wasn't playing that game. She got angry because she called me twice and I simply was not available to come to the phone and I was not going to feel guilty about my boundaries and explain myself. At times in the past I would tell her I'm sorry I missed your call, I was doing blah blah blah. But we don't always need to explain ourselves because it's then the people sometimes take advantage and see that as weakness. But because I didn't answer the phone when she thought I should, she assumed I was avoiding her and so she decides to childishly punish me. Well she sees that doesn't work. I didn't answer the phone because that genuinely could not. There's a million other things that can be going on, but since I didn't answer the phone then I did later send her a text that I care and I hope she was having a good day. Followed up with the scripture to encourage her. Well she was still mad because I didn't answer the phone so she ghosted me and here she was supposed to be my best friend. She didn't write a response for two months. She wanted me to miss her and feel guilty but I was having none of it. As I mentioned, I don't play those games. Then to give her the benefit of doubt, I texted her with another kind message of encouragement, she answered very very briefly which was fine, I answered back, but I guess that wasn't enough and she ghosted me for another whole month. Seeing how important I was to her that she couldn't even wish me a happy Thanksgiving, or even bother to acknowledge me or answer me at all, I felt she was still punishing me in her own way, so I blocked her. Now she doesn't have to worry about me not being the friend she expects me to be. I don't feel guilty about it. Actions speak louder than words. I feel I did my part.
And then you have those "friends" who are not respectful of your time, don't even ask, but will keep you on the phone for hours upon end if you let them. Boundaries are so important and people should respect each other's boundaries, not impose and not get angry if someone can't stay on the phone a whole two or three or four hours. That's not my problem. If they think it is, then that's her or his problem. We teach each other how we want to be treated and it's not right to take advantage of people. Sometimes we can stay on the phone a long time but other times it becomes a problem and we should be able to lovingly express that without people taking offense every time we can't talk long or can't come to the phone. Yet someone to take up your whole day if you allow it. First try to resolve these things but if they cannot be amicably resolved, it's time to let go of toxic relationships.
I had a friend for like 6 years and we were extremely close like sisters, but a couple of months ago, I was unable to devote all my time to her, as she expected, and I wasn't playing that game. She got angry because she called me twice and I simply was not available to come to the phone and I was not going to feel guilty about my boundaries and explain myself. At times in the past I would tell her I'm sorry I missed your call, I was doing blah blah blah. But we don't always need to explain ourselves because it's then the people sometimes take advantage and see that as weakness. But because I didn't answer the phone when she thought I should, she assumed I was avoiding her and so she decides to childishly punish me. Well she sees that doesn't work. I didn't answer the phone because that genuinely could not. There's a million other things that can be going on, but since I didn't answer the phone then I did later send her a text that I care and I hope she was having a good day. Followed up with the scripture to encourage her. Well she was still mad because I didn't answer the phone so she ghosted me and here she was supposed to be my best friend. She didn't write a response for two months. She wanted me to miss her and feel guilty but I was having none of it. As I mentioned, I don't play those games. Then to give her the benefit of doubt, I texted her with another kind message of encouragement, she answered very very briefly which was fine, I answered back, but I guess that wasn't enough and she ghosted me for another whole month. Seeing how important I was to her that she couldn't even wish me a happy Thanksgiving, or even bother to acknowledge me or answer me at all, I felt she was still punishing me in her own way, so I blocked her. Now she doesn't have to worry about me not being the friend she expects me to be. I don't feel guilty about it. Actions speak louder than words. I feel I did my part.
And then you have those "friends" who are not respectful of your time, don't even ask, but will keep you on the phone for hours upon end if you let them. Boundaries are so important and people should respect each other's boundaries, not impose and not get angry if someone can't stay on the phone a whole two or three or four hours. That's not my problem. If they think it is, then that's her or his problem. We teach each other how we want to be treated and it's not right to take advantage of people. Sometimes we can stay on the phone a long time but other times it becomes a problem and we should be able to lovingly express that without people taking offense every time we can't talk long or can't come to the phone. Yet someone to take up your whole day if you allow it. First try to resolve these things but if they cannot be amicably resolved, it's time to let go of toxic relationships.
Beaker4444 · 46-50, M
I'm with you on that. A good friend of mine put it best; When everything's good and you have a full fridge, a lot of alcohol, and smokes for whoever needs one everybody's there. Only your real friends are there when all of that is gone.
Fun fact, she screamed that at an apartment full of people when her luck changed and she had all of that again. She told them all to leave but told me to stay. I guess that tells uou which side of that I fall on.
Feel free to reach out if you need to vent or have a conversation about whatever is running through your mind.
Fun fact, she screamed that at an apartment full of people when her luck changed and she had all of that again. She told them all to leave but told me to stay. I guess that tells uou which side of that I fall on.
Feel free to reach out if you need to vent or have a conversation about whatever is running through your mind.
PoisonLace · 41-45, F
@Beaker4444 that makes a lot of sense. And thank you.
Beautifullyderanged · 41-45, F
PoisonLace · 41-45, F
@Beautifullyderanged so sorry to hear that. How are you doing? Really.
Beautifullyderanged · 41-45, F
@PoisonLace I fluctuate between hysterical laughter and intense anger and loneliness depending on the day.
PoisonLace · 41-45, F
@B2nd2none I know you’re busy. I was talking about someone who is in my area. Thank you for your support 😇
SpectralMourning · 41-45, M
Livingwell · 61-69, M
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PoisonLace · 41-45, F
@FreestyleArt totally agree.
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PoisonLace · 41-45, F
@jshm2 verbally abuse? Is this comment supposed to be funny?
ShenaniganFoodie · 36-40, M