When they speak to one another in the friend group chat, I feel they are all much closer to one another than any of them to me.

It makes me feel slightly jealous. But not university life jealous. That was just an extremely horrible part of my life. This is just the taste of the past. I wish I was closer to them too... But I know from my past experiences that it gets toxic sooner or later, and I don't want to seem needy.
I guess I'm fine at a distance. But I fear if I keep my distance the distance will only grow.
Ugh. Why is it so hard to find a perfect balance when it comes to socializing?