I'd Rather Have A Few Close Friends Than Many Acquaintances
... but I feel like I have none. I don't like being surrounded by a lot of people, so I don't regret not having many acquaintances at all. But sometimes I am a little sad about not having real friends.
Everyone I talk to and get close with sort of moves on on me, we drift apart and never get close again. Don't get me wrong, we never fight, never dislike/hate each other- we just stop being friends and start being acquaintances, which is like watching something beautiful die. And I do try to talk to those people, stay interested in their lives, always be friendly, but I feel like they are not into talking to me anymore.
Also, I am often disappointed with people who used to be my friends. I am and I have always been willing to listen to them, I've always been interested and involved, I've put my time and effort in helping them solve their problems. But some of them just stopped giving a damn. For example, I always, ALWAYS ask "how are you" and I mean it, I want to know how they're doing. And some of them never even ask about how I'm doing- they don't care and they don't ask because they don't want to know the answer. I've had a ton of rough times going on in my life lately and even if they KNEW I was going through a lot they simply ignored every single word I've said about it. They preferred to talk about their lives, the video games they play, books they read, movies they watch, food they cook, silly stuff they do, but nothing about me.
I never whine in front of them, never ASK for help/advice, I never ask anyone to be there for me. But I thought friends are supposed to care and at least listen to you when you are going through something. I don't feel like I should feel so irrelevant after all these times I've showed them how relevant they are to me.
Everyone I talk to and get close with sort of moves on on me, we drift apart and never get close again. Don't get me wrong, we never fight, never dislike/hate each other- we just stop being friends and start being acquaintances, which is like watching something beautiful die. And I do try to talk to those people, stay interested in their lives, always be friendly, but I feel like they are not into talking to me anymore.
Also, I am often disappointed with people who used to be my friends. I am and I have always been willing to listen to them, I've always been interested and involved, I've put my time and effort in helping them solve their problems. But some of them just stopped giving a damn. For example, I always, ALWAYS ask "how are you" and I mean it, I want to know how they're doing. And some of them never even ask about how I'm doing- they don't care and they don't ask because they don't want to know the answer. I've had a ton of rough times going on in my life lately and even if they KNEW I was going through a lot they simply ignored every single word I've said about it. They preferred to talk about their lives, the video games they play, books they read, movies they watch, food they cook, silly stuff they do, but nothing about me.
I never whine in front of them, never ASK for help/advice, I never ask anyone to be there for me. But I thought friends are supposed to care and at least listen to you when you are going through something. I don't feel like I should feel so irrelevant after all these times I've showed them how relevant they are to me.
31-35, F
