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I Lost My Best Friend And My Heart Is Shattered

So yeah, as the title says, I feel like I have lost my best friend and I am now pretty broken. He told me last night that though he has always cared about all of his friends, there is one in particular that he wants to reach out to again (please keep in mind that this isn't as simple as it sounds because this person he is reaching out to we have both had a long and complicated history with), and I feel like I have really lost touch with him and that I can never again be close to him like I have been. Which hurts. A lot. I have lived my life for this man for the last two years. I have been there through everything, changed my life so I could help him. And now I am in a new place, in a new city, and now feeling very very alone.
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RubySoo · 56-60, F