cheer up a very upset friend?
I entered a really nice group of friends last year. This year all of them took the extra TY year except for me and one of my friends because we couldn't afford it(over 500 euro to get in!).
At the start all went pretty well, we still met up with each other every break time and after school. Very few of us had shared any classes to begin with so it wasn't much of a change. Everything worked smoothly, although the friend who stayed in my year (let's call her M) found it a bit disheartening as she had been together with the others for years.
I actually became really great friends with M, and we love hanging out together, watching movies etc..
Further along the year, another TY (K) came back to school. She had been in a French exchange school and had came back early (doing only about 3 of the 6 months). I had only really been acquaintances with her before this, I try to remain unbiased and open to people I don't know yet but K always managed to come across as a bit narcissistic to me.
From my time observing her since she re-entered our TY friend group is that she's very loud, emotional, if I dare say a gossiper who loves big groups of people around her. I really did try to become friends with her but I couldn't really handle it to be honest. Neither was M able to. We were always polite and involved her in group activities seeing as the TYs loved hanging with with her.
Within weeks, a huge change happened in our group. Metaphorically I would say there was a big TY wall around our friends. Suddenly during break times, they were having TY specific meetings, gathering in large circles and without realising were leaving me and M out. we brought this up with them and they apologised. It didn't really change much afterwards and M was starting to get both frustrated and upset by the rift between our two groups.
Soon we realised a recurring pattern, where that when K was around she specifically steered the conversation to TY specific topics. At meet ups outside of school, K played 'games' where she pointed out each of the good points of each person in the group( sometimes doing people 3 or 4 times) but never said anything to the rest of us in the group who aren't in TY, namely me and M. M does drama group on Thursdays with our friends and she says they no longer talk to her when K comes over.
which brings us to this week. M had worked two part-time jobs, saving money and bought her own ukulele. She had been learning how to play it and she was really proud of it. Her and another TY had planned to bring their instruments and go busking.
When K found out about their plan, she nominated herself to help and be the lead vocalist. She then started telling all the other TYs to come and do it with them too. A lot of them didn't want to, either because they don't play any music or don't have the time for it but some eventually agreed to come and just hang around near them when they busk.
K then looked around and announced "Oh, 8 is too much to have in the band",and kicked M out.
M was close to tears when she explained what had happened. Both of us don't wish to create a fuss, we don't want any drama but I don't know what to do. We certainly don't want t stop meeting with our friends in TY, they are very nice friends, best ones I've had in years.
How do I cheer M up? I've tried distracting her by trying to make her laugh, giving her hand made gifts etc but she still seems so put out by what happened. Her self-esteem has seemed to just be running so low.
Any suggestions are gladly welcomed.:)
At the start all went pretty well, we still met up with each other every break time and after school. Very few of us had shared any classes to begin with so it wasn't much of a change. Everything worked smoothly, although the friend who stayed in my year (let's call her M) found it a bit disheartening as she had been together with the others for years.
I actually became really great friends with M, and we love hanging out together, watching movies etc..
Further along the year, another TY (K) came back to school. She had been in a French exchange school and had came back early (doing only about 3 of the 6 months). I had only really been acquaintances with her before this, I try to remain unbiased and open to people I don't know yet but K always managed to come across as a bit narcissistic to me.
From my time observing her since she re-entered our TY friend group is that she's very loud, emotional, if I dare say a gossiper who loves big groups of people around her. I really did try to become friends with her but I couldn't really handle it to be honest. Neither was M able to. We were always polite and involved her in group activities seeing as the TYs loved hanging with with her.
Within weeks, a huge change happened in our group. Metaphorically I would say there was a big TY wall around our friends. Suddenly during break times, they were having TY specific meetings, gathering in large circles and without realising were leaving me and M out. we brought this up with them and they apologised. It didn't really change much afterwards and M was starting to get both frustrated and upset by the rift between our two groups.
Soon we realised a recurring pattern, where that when K was around she specifically steered the conversation to TY specific topics. At meet ups outside of school, K played 'games' where she pointed out each of the good points of each person in the group( sometimes doing people 3 or 4 times) but never said anything to the rest of us in the group who aren't in TY, namely me and M. M does drama group on Thursdays with our friends and she says they no longer talk to her when K comes over.
which brings us to this week. M had worked two part-time jobs, saving money and bought her own ukulele. She had been learning how to play it and she was really proud of it. Her and another TY had planned to bring their instruments and go busking.
When K found out about their plan, she nominated herself to help and be the lead vocalist. She then started telling all the other TYs to come and do it with them too. A lot of them didn't want to, either because they don't play any music or don't have the time for it but some eventually agreed to come and just hang around near them when they busk.
K then looked around and announced "Oh, 8 is too much to have in the band",and kicked M out.
M was close to tears when she explained what had happened. Both of us don't wish to create a fuss, we don't want any drama but I don't know what to do. We certainly don't want t stop meeting with our friends in TY, they are very nice friends, best ones I've had in years.
How do I cheer M up? I've tried distracting her by trying to make her laugh, giving her hand made gifts etc but she still seems so put out by what happened. Her self-esteem has seemed to just be running so low.
Any suggestions are gladly welcomed.:)
22-25, F
