break off without an explanation!

I had this friend. We became close very soon and then she started annoying me. She would come to my room and spoil my privacy and wouldn't 3ven take a hint when. Wanted to know all my affairs and why would she wanna know what me and my mom talked over phone? Constantly asking what I was doing while I'm laying over my bed and chilling. She didn't want me t o talk to anyone and all that shit. She has said my friend off and said to somone I know that she is jealous of me blah blah blah.and there is more... I stopped talking. Now she's crying to everyone that I can never have a friend like her blah blah and no will ever know me like she know me... She often asks people about my wellness. All I see is a one venomous snake behind that innocent facade. What do you think? Am I an ass to her or ???

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Ukebaby

This whole story sounds suspicious for jist two female friends with no romantic involvement. However, if you are being honest and not creating some hypothetical story to cover the truth about another relationship. All I can say is to be fair. Tell her honestly your problems with your relationship with her. You are not happy or comfortable and you need to end your friendship. Tell her good bye, make it final as well as your expectations hat she leave you alone.

If you harassed you or your friends in a threatened ing way or does not respect your clearly defined wishes to be left alone you may need a restraining order or she seems to be a possible threat.

Your story lacks too much information for better than that. Just remember no person is a mind reader. If you simply blow a person off that cares for you no matter how unstable they.may be. There is no way to expect them to know you simply don't want them anymore. For her sake and yours contact at least via mail or Internet and get specific and firmly end the friendship. She will have a much easier time letting go and you may get some peace.

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Ukebaby

@pandavov: well if she does anything illegal or threatening just call the police and file for an order of protection. She has a right to speak her mind to anyone who chooses to listen to her. As long as she is not causing injury to you. Shit happens. It was a mistake to not explain when that was asked for.. had you done that I would have greater empathy. No matter how annoying or persistent. She is a human with feelings and basic humans rights. Try just for a moment to put yourself in her position with a person who truly matters to you walking away and denying any reason or explanation or clear indication of needing to be left alone. How would you be feeling. You have done this your way so now I have to ask, with other alternate ideas of how you could deal with the problem. How is doing it your way working for you? Are.you getting what you want or need or are you willing to try a different avenue? Everyone has a different psychological make up and down way of dealing g with endings. Some need concrete closure more than others. I admit I do. If someone stops talking to me I tend to feel horrible and wonder what I did wrong. She deserves to know in order to give her the opportunity to change her own behavior in future friendships. Control freaks are hard to deal with but they still have feelings.

papsblueonice

From my past experiences, I'm not a person to speak my feelings and give explanations. I hate to start arguments with people. Whenever I'm angry or frustrated with someone, I tend to avoid them. If I feel something is unhealthy I go give silent treatment but I would eventually talk cuz I cannot be angry for a long time. But with her, I couldn't even meet her eyes and speak to her. I felt so betrayed. And even whenever I thought I shouldn't be this way, some part of me didn't wanna go back and be normal with her. Then she did many things to prove she cares about me, I felt that it was so fake and sometimes it was.

Ukebaby

@pandavov: i wish I had the answers for you hun. Relationships can be so.messes and hard sometimes. What did she do that hurt you the most? Was it her constant intrusion where you felt she didn't belong? Did you feel smothered? Did she do so.e big betrayal of your trust somehow?

firefall · 61-69, M

I'd say you called it right - she's behaved/behaving like a total control freak who wanted to own every aspect of you and your life. Run like hell, so to speak :)

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