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I don't like my friend very much anymore. I need help.

I have been in a relationship for almost three years now. We have lived together for about a year and a half. I have a best friend, but we rarely ever hang out, but not for the lack of trying on her part. I have not been interested in maintaining the friendship at all. We have been best friends since we were in 7th grade, and have known each other since the first grade. Over the past year, or even two years, I have grown more and more distant from her. I have had time to reflect on our friendship, which has been a decade long. We have both done some shitty things to each other before (not sleeping with each other man, that is absurd. Just normal girl stuff). But, lately, I have not been enjoying her presence. It feels more like I am being intruded upon. She and her family insinuate that my boyfriend beats me and is holding me hostage just because I don't hang out with her. Which is not true at all. She has never even witnessed anything like that, and my boyfriend would NEVER lay a hand on me. He has never even called me out of my name and we have been together for almost THREE years. It really pisses me off. It is like she thinks lowly of me when she insinuates shit like that. One time I had a rash, and she is going to say it looks like my boyfriend beat me up. Also, I don't feel comfortable around her family either. I have never felt comfortable around them. And I have known them since I was a kid. I avidly remember her sisters always talking about how much they love our other friend (they are both white, by the way, I am black). They always kind of cast me out. Not to long ago, she told me about how her family was calling black people n-words and all kinds of racist stuff. It really hurt me, because although I never felt completely comfortable around them, for the most part they have always treated me like family. She said she cried over it and left their house. I just don't know how to feel. It's like I still love her, and I don't want to let ten years of friendship go down the drain, but I also have no interest in keeping it either. There was also this one time where she insinuated another bad thing about my boyfriend. After a night of drinking, she ended up telling my boyfriend to get something for her. I was in the her room at her apartment with my boyfriend, and I think she went to the bathroom or something. Once she came back in, he handed her what she asked for, and then she asked him had he gone through her purse. And I was like no. She was like no tell me where you got this. And he explained it. It was really awkward because I was sitting there the whole time. And he never went through her purse. She is also very snappy and calls me lame for not wanting to go out and get shitfaced all the time. I have just grown fed-up with her I guess. She can be a great person and she is most of the time. But, idk what to do. I have not hung out with her in months, and she keeps posting pictures of me on social media, talking about how much she misses me. Which in return induces a major guilt trip within me. Please let me know any advice you all have. I am sorry that this is so long. I have left out a lot of information, but please help. Also, sorry for any grammar errors. I had to type this really fast, as I am on my lunch break.
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elafina · 36-40, F
You could introduce some honesty into your relationship, does she knows about all these things you are saying here? It seems like she doesn't...perhaps you'll have to make yourself clear to her,
as i was reading this i thought, you could give this text to her to read..but it would hurt her for sure..but then things would be more clear
Saucylover · 26-30, F
@elafina I would love to do this, but it is so hard for me. I need to just be honest. I think I will combine all of the answers. Maybe I could show her this post over a coffee date, and just move forward with my life afterwards. Whatever happens, happens.