How do you communicate respectfully to someone you don't want to hear about their problems.

I tell them what they are doing and if they don't acknowledge the behavior I walk away and tell them why I am walking....often people do not even know they are behaving badly until someone brings it to their attention

[quote]I have always tried to be there for people and listen when they need an ear,[/quote]

I understand - totally. I think we all have someone like this to some extent.

In such situations, I need to sit back a moment and reevaluate MY end of the relationship.

After all - I was always there to listen before.

What has changed?

Why am I feeling differently?

Is my own plate too full right now?

Has this person taken too much of my time and energy recently?
And, I have nothing more to give?

Does this person really have nothing to 'bring to the party' anymore? For what ever reason, he's just not friend quality anymore - and I need to break it off.

Is this person changed? Could something physically or mentally be wrong? And he needs professional help?

Be honest with yourself and your friend.

I’ve come to realize that there are those that thrive on having issues constantly. It’s a way of life and are a drag to be with. They bring the worst qualities out of me so it’s better to avoid them completely.

I'm Italian, in a conversation I can tell you go F*** yourself in 15 different ways and you'll walk away thinking I'm the sweetest girl and that we may become best friends. it was so delightful answering your question. have a great day

Hurt his feelings by belittling his problems and comparing them to yours, if you become a shitty listener he will stop talking. Interrupt him consistently, with stuff like "omg I seen the cutest caterpillar this morning" "Bagels should be arrested for impersonating Donuts." "I was never any good at Monopoly unless I was the banker."

I've found that by confronting the person, politely, about all that I feel is going on, explaining how it's affecting me. If they do care, then they usually apologize and back off, if they only care about themselves, they might apologize, but then brush it aside fairly lightly. Then I have to be more assertive and tell them I'm sorry, but I can't be there for them like they need right now. I have to take care of somethings I'm dealing with. If that doesn't work, then I get blunt. Yes, I'll try to guide them to someone that might be able to help them, like saying, this is beyond me, you might want to talk to someone trained to help where I am not.

Speaking strictly for myself I can offer seemingly endless amounts of support so long as I see occasional evidence of it doing the other person some good.

If I don't see that evidence I try to tell them exactly what the situation is, that I'm not a bottomless pit and that if they drain me too low I'll simply turn around and walk away.

You have to in order to protect yourself. Because if you ever become totally drained who's going to look after you? Certainly not the one you've been trying to support - they'll just move right along and start draining the next person.

Maybe suggest politely that he should speak with a counselor and excuse yourself to deal with something else. It sound like he is using you as a counselor and you are trying to be nice. If he is just seeking attention he should get the message.

You could ask if you could talk about something else because you are dealing with a lot yourself and would like to get your mind off of stressful things.

I also think it would be totally fair to tell him you feel like you are being used, etc.

Being around chronically negative people can be draining. I hope you can find a way to be supportive without becoming his enabler.

You take care of you. True friends know it’s 50/50 not a one way street. Self care 💜🎶 🛁

I’m truly sorry for your loss 🌹

Well try to be positive, if it gets worse just tell him you have a lot do and can't talk to him at the moment

gotta love them emotional vampires.

This is definitely a hard one. 😖

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