My best friend thinks I'm making a big mistake in going to see my mother. Does she have a point?

My mom said to me over the phone (finally she answered) that she wants to see me sometime. I'm thinking about going to see her. My best friend things I'm making a big mistake. She said, "If you're thinking about living there then I'm going to end up being very lonely and you're just going to have a great time and you won't even wanna come back. I heard enough already. You're going to forget about me!" I told her we're always best friends but I don't know how long I wanna stay. I love mom and wanna reconcile with her but my best friend flat out told me, "There is one thing I don't understand and I don't wanna sound brutally blunt but...why do you wanna visit or stay with the woman that made it clear that she doesn't even want you? She walked our on you guys to have her own life and let you down so many times and only thinks about herself. Why are you even considering this?" That really strucked me with this and kind of offended me but I knew she had a point. She said I keep denying the my mom doesn't give a shit about us and doesn't want us anymore. Is my best friend right? Is it worth it. I really wanna be with my mother. It hurt is really bad that she abandoned us and doesn't even regret it. I told her there's people she can hang with but she rather hang with me than the others.

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Madhatter · 31-35, M

It sounds like your friend does have a point, but at the same time, she isn't exactly being a good friend, either. If your mother doesn't regret leaving and even now, she doesn't even make an effort to answer or return your calls, then yes, it's probably safe to say that she just isn't really interested in you. That's tough to swallow, but sometimes that's just how it is.

However, your friend isn't much acting like one. If they were your friend, they'd be happy for you to think that you may be moving on to a better life. A good friend doesn't try to guilt you out of giving up your happiness just so they can be happy.

Only you know what the best thing for you to do would be. If you really need that closure, then go be with your mom. Try it. It may work, if not. If it doesn't, maybe you can come back home? If your friend is a true one, she'll understand. If she isn't, then you aren't really losing anything of value. But if a little reflection tells you that maybe you don't need to try to reconcile with your mother, that's fine too. Ultimately, you've gotta do what you gotta do. Just do what makes you happy as best you can.

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Madhatter · 31-35, M

@MotherlessDaughter01 Sorry you had to go through that, but there's no changing the past. Only doing the best we can to make a better future. I don't know if that means trying to work things out with your mom or just trying to move on, but I do know things will work out either way. It won't be perfect. It won't be easy. But you'll be alright.