What Can I Do In This Situation
Okay, so a bit of back story.
6 months ago, I was struggling. I got out of the hospital after an attempt at my life. Dropped out of college as I couldn't afford it and well, things have been going downhill since then.
The only saving grace was meeting my friend who I'll just name Friend A. Friend A was wonderful... she struggled with a breakup and I reached out as she was posting something on Facebook. Recently being in a similar situation I reached out. We just clicked.
She introduced me to all of her friends and things were okay... or so I thought.
Every time I was with her... she talked shit on every single person in the group... it tore me apart. Around Thanksgiving we had an argument and I called her toxic. Something that's always brought up. We got past it. Christmas went bye and things were fine. My birthday was recently and it was still fine.
The past week though has been hell. She rubs her relationship in my face, which hurts as I never really had one... she lashes out at me and expects me to apologize. I stupidly bottled it up. Well... a few days later we went to go do something and she snapped at me a lot. The cap came off and I told her I couldn't do this anymore.
Not only that but there is another girl in the group, Friend B that had an argument with her back in December. Friend B every time I was with her would talk major shit and vice versa.
The problem is if I didn't agree with them they threw a fit and made me miserable... so I played along. I said things I shouldn't have and I told them what the other said.
I'm no angel in the situation, but there's a difference between talking shit and explaining frustrations. And the stuff said is horrible and uncalled for.
I was forced to pick sides, and I hate that. I felt like I did the right thing in telling them this. Well, I was wrong.
They both denied what I said and instead turned it back on me making up lies and saying I said stuff I never did.
I feel like shit... like everything is my fault... I apologized up and down and it's not enough and tonight I cut again...
I love those guys and I can't deny the good they've done for me but I can't keep doing this. I don't know what to do... this shouldn't be eating me alive but it is. I need some other opinions.
6 months ago, I was struggling. I got out of the hospital after an attempt at my life. Dropped out of college as I couldn't afford it and well, things have been going downhill since then.
The only saving grace was meeting my friend who I'll just name Friend A. Friend A was wonderful... she struggled with a breakup and I reached out as she was posting something on Facebook. Recently being in a similar situation I reached out. We just clicked.
She introduced me to all of her friends and things were okay... or so I thought.
Every time I was with her... she talked shit on every single person in the group... it tore me apart. Around Thanksgiving we had an argument and I called her toxic. Something that's always brought up. We got past it. Christmas went bye and things were fine. My birthday was recently and it was still fine.
The past week though has been hell. She rubs her relationship in my face, which hurts as I never really had one... she lashes out at me and expects me to apologize. I stupidly bottled it up. Well... a few days later we went to go do something and she snapped at me a lot. The cap came off and I told her I couldn't do this anymore.
Not only that but there is another girl in the group, Friend B that had an argument with her back in December. Friend B every time I was with her would talk major shit and vice versa.
The problem is if I didn't agree with them they threw a fit and made me miserable... so I played along. I said things I shouldn't have and I told them what the other said.
I'm no angel in the situation, but there's a difference between talking shit and explaining frustrations. And the stuff said is horrible and uncalled for.
I was forced to pick sides, and I hate that. I felt like I did the right thing in telling them this. Well, I was wrong.
They both denied what I said and instead turned it back on me making up lies and saying I said stuff I never did.
I feel like shit... like everything is my fault... I apologized up and down and it's not enough and tonight I cut again...
I love those guys and I can't deny the good they've done for me but I can't keep doing this. I don't know what to do... this shouldn't be eating me alive but it is. I need some other opinions.
