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Got home, took a long shower followed by a bath and had an important revelation.

Your western massages are just our regular bathing scrubbings in africa.

And mashed potatoes should indeed be named smashed potatoes. When I used to call it smashed potatoes and my friends laugh at me, I was in the right that whole time. It is logically sound to call it smashed.
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Taking a long shower and then taking a bath is redundant. It gets you in the same rationality as being high so I'm not listening to you.