what to do if your long distance close friend dies and you don't know about it?

Happened over and over. My father used to save up bad news so he could make me cry and collapse in public, and then laugh really loudly. Now I'm not interested in knowing if he's gone yet. And I don't get updates from my last remaining siblings - I get bloodied up by them. Family!
My exes had more caring parents who prepared obituaries for themselves and it was online in a place I could find.
I remember looking over the years until they were all gone.
Nobody alive actually knows me well.