My best friend is going through a divorce right now and it's so sad and I wish I could help her more

She's such a strong person and it's hard to see her in shambles. She's doing remarkably well, and it's been a long time coming, but still...

I am just trying to be there for her. She's worried about the division of things and that he might fk her over.

I am really hoping he will be civil. She's such a hardworking, loving and community-driven person.

I think once everyone knows she will receive lots of support. She left her home but doesn't want to lose the house.

It sucks being sort of helpless, but I will buy her treats and go shopping with her, and listen. It's what I can do.

But I wish I could just make it a year from now for her. I know she will be happier.

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Quetzalcoatlus · 46-50, M

Why not encourage her to keep her home together?

FlowersInHerHair · 56-60, F

@Quetzalcoatlus Like stay together for the children???? That’s actually more toxic for them.

Quetzalcoatlus · 46-50, M

@FlowersInHerHair Depends on the situation. It’s certainly going to cause a lot of pain for the kids and the loss of income for both adults. Not to mention realizing that the grass might not be greener.

FlowersInHerHair · 56-60, F

@Quetzalcoatlus It’s better than the children growing up in a toxic home with two parents that cannot stand each other. It’s actually quite better for them to have two separate parents who love THEM and can focus on their well-being separately. Children are not stupid but they are impressionable.

Quetzalcoatlus · 46-50, M

@FlowersInHerHair How do we know they can’t stand each other? No one knows what caused the separation. We now have decades of data the tell us children of divorce are more likely to carry the trauma into adulthood. Not to mention the effect on schooling and upward financial mobility. Unless there is abuse or severe dysfunction, it’s always better to try and work it out.

FlowersInHerHair · 56-60, F

@Quetzalcoatlus I disagree.

caccoon · 36-40

@Quetzalcoatlus it is better that they don't work it out, and their children are in their 20s

He cheated on her, several times, with more than one person, and he degrades her in front of others

He causes her to question her own opinions and self-worth, they have entirely different friend groups and lead different lives.