Embracing The Stoic Perspective On Friendship
Chloe, March 20, 2024
[b]A Lack of Friends Means That You…[/b]
So, you’re feeling a bit lonely, huh? Maybe your social circle is looking a bit sparse, or perhaps you’re just not clicking with people as much as you’d like. It’s okay, friend. You’re not alone in feeling alone. Loneliness is a universal human experience, and so is the desire for connection. But does having more friends really equal happiness? Let’s dive a little deeper, shall we?
Stoic Wisdom on Friendship
Have you ever stumbled upon the teachings of the Stoics? A philosophy as relevant today as it was in ancient times, Stoicism likens friendships to diamonds—elusive, precious, valuable, and full of imitations. Simply put, they believed true friends were rare gems to be cherished, but difficult to find.
So, what does it mean when you find yourself seemingly alone in a world bustling with connections? Well, according to Stoicism, it shows that…
1. You Embrace Your True Nature
Maybe you’re shy and introverted, or even a little bit socially awkward like people with fewer friends tend to be. That’s okay. You choose to have fewer friends because you’d rather be authentically yourself than be liked for being someone you’re not. You know your introversion or lone wolf nature isn’t a flaw, but a unique aspect of who you are. And that self-acceptance is what makes you unshakeable in your quiet confidence. In a world full of noise, there’s something truly powerful about embracing the beauty of your own silence.
2. It Might Not Be You, But Them
Ever found yourself in a bustling room, surrounded by chatter and laughter, yet feeling strangely detached? It’s like being on the outside of an inside joke, isn’t it? That despite your best efforts, you just can’t seem to click or vibe with anyone around you. Well, before you start blaming yourself, let’s consider something: maybe, just maybe, it’s not about you at all.
Maybe they’re all already really close with one another but aren’t intentionally trying to exclude you. Or maybe you just have different interests, views, attitudes, and personalities. Either way, we’re here to tell you it’s okay to feel a bit disconnected sometimes. Take it as an opportunity to step back, observe, and recalibrate. The right connections will find their way to you eventually. For now, you can take your time when it comes to letting others in.
3. Life is Ever Changing, And, So Are You
There’s a saying that goes, “people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” True enough. One minute, you’re spending almost every day with your friends, and the next, you’re waving goodbye as you all head off in your own directions. As we grow and change, so too do our friendships.
Some friends, we outgrow, and others, we meet again later down the line. Either way, Stoic wisdom tells us it’s all part of the natural ebb and flow of human connections. And instead of seeing our relationships as ending—like most are bound to do—it’s better to think of them as completed. Cherish the memories, embrace the change, and trust that the journey is leading you exactly where you need to be, one hello and goodbye at a time.
4. You Understand The Essence of True Friendship
If you have fewer friends because you prioritize quality over quantity, then it means that you understand something most people don’t: true friendship is a journey, not a destination. Sure, human beings are social creatures by nature, but that doesn’t mean that just any connection will do. You understand the true essence of friendship, so you don’t settle for superficial interactions and fleeting connections. You focus on nurturing true, authentic bonds with people who really speak to your soul, because you know that quality friendships enrich your life in ways that quantity never could.
5. You’ve Found Fulfillment Within
Finally, but perhaps most importantly, a “lack” of friends can also signify an abundance of inner peace and fulfillment. Stoic philosophy tells us that true happiness comes from within, not from external things like wealth or popularity. So, from their perspective, a lack of friends isn’t a life sentence of misery, but rather, an opportunity to cultivate a deeper sense of self-reliance and self-love. Rather than relying on others to make us happy, we empower ourselves to discover joy and completeness in our own presence. After all, friendships come and go, but your relationship with yourself is forever.
Now, don’t get us wrong, having a lot of friends is great, but it isn’t everything when it comes to being happy. So, if you’re feeling a bit lonely, take heart. You’re not broken, and you’re certainly not alone. By embracing the Stoic perspective on friendship, we can learn to find fulfillment not only in our relationships with others but also in ourselves. And remember, your worth isn’t tied to the quantity of friends you have, but the quality of the connections you nurture, especially with yourself.
References:
Voncken, B. (2023 Nov 3). “What is True Friendship: A Stoic View.” Stoica. https://viastoica.com/what-is-true-friendship/
Stoic Simple. (2024). “Stoicism and Friendship: How Stoic Philosophy Helps Friendly Relationships.” https://www.stoicsimple.com/stoicism-and-friendship-how-stoic-philosophy-helps-friendly-relationships/
The Stoic Letters. (2024). “Letter IX. On Philosophy and Friendship.” https://thestoicletters.com/letter-ix-on-philosophy-and-friendship-apatheia-ataraxia/
[b]A Lack of Friends Means That You…[/b]
So, you’re feeling a bit lonely, huh? Maybe your social circle is looking a bit sparse, or perhaps you’re just not clicking with people as much as you’d like. It’s okay, friend. You’re not alone in feeling alone. Loneliness is a universal human experience, and so is the desire for connection. But does having more friends really equal happiness? Let’s dive a little deeper, shall we?
Stoic Wisdom on Friendship
Have you ever stumbled upon the teachings of the Stoics? A philosophy as relevant today as it was in ancient times, Stoicism likens friendships to diamonds—elusive, precious, valuable, and full of imitations. Simply put, they believed true friends were rare gems to be cherished, but difficult to find.
So, what does it mean when you find yourself seemingly alone in a world bustling with connections? Well, according to Stoicism, it shows that…
1. You Embrace Your True Nature
Maybe you’re shy and introverted, or even a little bit socially awkward like people with fewer friends tend to be. That’s okay. You choose to have fewer friends because you’d rather be authentically yourself than be liked for being someone you’re not. You know your introversion or lone wolf nature isn’t a flaw, but a unique aspect of who you are. And that self-acceptance is what makes you unshakeable in your quiet confidence. In a world full of noise, there’s something truly powerful about embracing the beauty of your own silence.
2. It Might Not Be You, But Them
Ever found yourself in a bustling room, surrounded by chatter and laughter, yet feeling strangely detached? It’s like being on the outside of an inside joke, isn’t it? That despite your best efforts, you just can’t seem to click or vibe with anyone around you. Well, before you start blaming yourself, let’s consider something: maybe, just maybe, it’s not about you at all.
Maybe they’re all already really close with one another but aren’t intentionally trying to exclude you. Or maybe you just have different interests, views, attitudes, and personalities. Either way, we’re here to tell you it’s okay to feel a bit disconnected sometimes. Take it as an opportunity to step back, observe, and recalibrate. The right connections will find their way to you eventually. For now, you can take your time when it comes to letting others in.
3. Life is Ever Changing, And, So Are You
There’s a saying that goes, “people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” True enough. One minute, you’re spending almost every day with your friends, and the next, you’re waving goodbye as you all head off in your own directions. As we grow and change, so too do our friendships.
Some friends, we outgrow, and others, we meet again later down the line. Either way, Stoic wisdom tells us it’s all part of the natural ebb and flow of human connections. And instead of seeing our relationships as ending—like most are bound to do—it’s better to think of them as completed. Cherish the memories, embrace the change, and trust that the journey is leading you exactly where you need to be, one hello and goodbye at a time.
4. You Understand The Essence of True Friendship
If you have fewer friends because you prioritize quality over quantity, then it means that you understand something most people don’t: true friendship is a journey, not a destination. Sure, human beings are social creatures by nature, but that doesn’t mean that just any connection will do. You understand the true essence of friendship, so you don’t settle for superficial interactions and fleeting connections. You focus on nurturing true, authentic bonds with people who really speak to your soul, because you know that quality friendships enrich your life in ways that quantity never could.
5. You’ve Found Fulfillment Within
Finally, but perhaps most importantly, a “lack” of friends can also signify an abundance of inner peace and fulfillment. Stoic philosophy tells us that true happiness comes from within, not from external things like wealth or popularity. So, from their perspective, a lack of friends isn’t a life sentence of misery, but rather, an opportunity to cultivate a deeper sense of self-reliance and self-love. Rather than relying on others to make us happy, we empower ourselves to discover joy and completeness in our own presence. After all, friendships come and go, but your relationship with yourself is forever.
Now, don’t get us wrong, having a lot of friends is great, but it isn’t everything when it comes to being happy. So, if you’re feeling a bit lonely, take heart. You’re not broken, and you’re certainly not alone. By embracing the Stoic perspective on friendship, we can learn to find fulfillment not only in our relationships with others but also in ourselves. And remember, your worth isn’t tied to the quantity of friends you have, but the quality of the connections you nurture, especially with yourself.
References:
Voncken, B. (2023 Nov 3). “What is True Friendship: A Stoic View.” Stoica. https://viastoica.com/what-is-true-friendship/
Stoic Simple. (2024). “Stoicism and Friendship: How Stoic Philosophy Helps Friendly Relationships.” https://www.stoicsimple.com/stoicism-and-friendship-how-stoic-philosophy-helps-friendly-relationships/
The Stoic Letters. (2024). “Letter IX. On Philosophy and Friendship.” https://thestoicletters.com/letter-ix-on-philosophy-and-friendship-apatheia-ataraxia/
