Why is it when you friendzone someone, they think you don't want to be friends?
It's not that I don't want to be her friend, I just can't always make her a priority. Life happens, I forget things, I'm sorry. Idk what to do...
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SW-User
You seem to be the one who doesn't want to prioritize the feelings of a friend with romantic intentions towards you. That's fine—you're under no obligation to return such feelings, and it's better to be honest about your lack of interest rather than lead them on. As you say, life happens, and you can't always focus on one person.
However, if you'd like to maintain some form of friendship—or at least part ways on good terms—there are considerate ways to go about it. Here are some tips on how to let someone down gently:
Be direct, but also compassionate. Let them know you value their friendship, but only see them platonically.
Drop subtle hints, like referring to them as a sibling or hinting at other romantic interests.
Never meet one-on-one; always include other people in your meetings to avoid any potential awkward situations.
Only hang out with them as part of a group.
Don't touch them or flirt with them inappropriately, and make sure your interactions remain unflirtatious.
Don't lead them on. Don't give them the attention that a romantic partner would receive.
Be honest about your feelings, and tell them that you don't want to damage your friendship by pursuing a romantic relationship.
Remember, though, that being friend-zoned can be a frustrating and painful experience. It's not uncommon for the rejected party to feel humiliated, especially if they've been leading themselves to believe that their feelings would eventually be reciprocated.
The internet is filled with advice on how to escape the friendzone, but many of the tips out there involve manipulating or deceiving the other person, which is hardly cool. As several sources note, the best way to go about it is to prioritize their comfort and respect their boundaries. Give them space to process their feelings, and let them decide whether they can handle being friends without romantic expectations.
Ultimately, if you're unable to be a true friend and value their feelings, it might be best to part ways—at least for a while.
However, if you'd like to maintain some form of friendship—or at least part ways on good terms—there are considerate ways to go about it. Here are some tips on how to let someone down gently:
Be direct, but also compassionate. Let them know you value their friendship, but only see them platonically.
Drop subtle hints, like referring to them as a sibling or hinting at other romantic interests.
Never meet one-on-one; always include other people in your meetings to avoid any potential awkward situations.
Only hang out with them as part of a group.
Don't touch them or flirt with them inappropriately, and make sure your interactions remain unflirtatious.
Don't lead them on. Don't give them the attention that a romantic partner would receive.
Be honest about your feelings, and tell them that you don't want to damage your friendship by pursuing a romantic relationship.
Remember, though, that being friend-zoned can be a frustrating and painful experience. It's not uncommon for the rejected party to feel humiliated, especially if they've been leading themselves to believe that their feelings would eventually be reciprocated.
The internet is filled with advice on how to escape the friendzone, but many of the tips out there involve manipulating or deceiving the other person, which is hardly cool. As several sources note, the best way to go about it is to prioritize their comfort and respect their boundaries. Give them space to process their feelings, and let them decide whether they can handle being friends without romantic expectations.
Ultimately, if you're unable to be a true friend and value their feelings, it might be best to part ways—at least for a while.