My best friend keeps invading my privacy!!!

I have this girl friend; we've been friends for like 15 years now.She’s my childhood friend; we were raised together; our families are friends, and I really love her. Needless to say, we’ve been through a lot of things together.But here is the thing: since we became adults, she keeps invading my privacy, even though I was very clear about my boundaries. For example, there was this one time when she was moving places and her place was not “liveable” yet, like she said, so I invited her to stay at my house, and guess what? She stayed for 3 months!!! I was not bothered by the idea of her being around for that long, but she kept disturbing me with her behaviour.She was wearing my clothes, ruining them and leaving stains.She was eating all of my food, leaving me absolutely nothing, and using my stuff without asking (I don’t even allow my biological sister to do this).But I didn’t say anything after she moved to her place, which is pretty close to mine. She proceeded to ask to stay at mine over and over, and I just came up with excuses every single time. Then she stopped, but it didn't actually stop here.She treats me like I don’t have a life or friends other than her! Whenever I feel like I need some distance or mental break from everything, she keeps on calling and texting me and my family a lot.I’ve been distancing myself from her for two months now, and I miss her. I miss her company because we have a lot of memories and everything, but I’m really afraid to talk to her again because she does all of those things again.

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PunkRockSuperStar · 56-60, M

I think you need to decide how much contact you're comfortable with, and set boundaries. Don't make up false excuses. Just tell her straight that you love her and her friendship is important to you, but that you need some space and privacy. You decide where and when you're going to see her, and if she's not happy with that or isn't willing to compromise, let that be her problem. I know it's hard. I've always had huge difficulty with putting my own needs first and saying 'no' throughout my life, but if you don't do it, the problem will remain and you might end up hating or falling out with your friend.

It sounds like she needs you more than you need her.

tamilguy · M

Just take her out on a friendly outing,like for lunch or dinner and discuss all these things with her.Don't overthink about her getting hurt or it might leave a dark spot in your friendship.A good friendship is one where the persons involved are open about how they feel about each other and how their characters compliment each other.If you are going to keep it for yourselves,mark my words, you're going to let it out one day and that's not going to be a very nice experience for the either of you and you're going to be the villain at the end.

updown2020 · 61-69, M

Well it simple she did what you allowed her to do . If she did things and you said nothing well in her head you were find with it. I hope you got your keys back from her for when she was living with you?If not change all the locks to prevent surprises . Also take a break from her stop answering her texting do not answering her calls.

Casheyane · F

Set boundaries. But also tell your family what you feel. Maybe you can find a solution better.

Help them treat you right. It keeps the relationship longer. There's always risk. But better to start the change than reach a level of boiling point when you explode from keeping all those things in.

Madmonk · M

Sounds like her family doesn’t want her around either.

Friends are in short supply these days. Has she been there for you when you needed her ? If so you have to over look this. In the future we are all gonna need all the true friends we can get.

HumanEarth · 56-60, F

Their name Google and Facebook

Iwillwait · M

That's not a friend.

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