Spoken Word Piece

I look through the pages of my life
And as I'm looking it dawns on me
This self made conspiracy
That took love from me
This once burning desire
To love and be loved
Had long ago lost it's fire
And I'm stuck here wondering
What happened to me
The dove full of love
Who needed to be loved
Wound up empty inside
Like that part of me died
And I was forced to quench
My inner yearnings
And and replaced it with
Some different learnings
Like learn to live without love
Learn to control your desires
Learn to maintain control
Learn to overcome what the body requires
So much so until a touch was just a brush
A kiss was just irritating
Making love was just the motions
I was pregnating my own segregating
Of body and soul
Detached my emotions
Until I could feel no more
Then like a robot went through the motions
Until my soul was sore
A heart dead in a walking body
Hell barely hanging on
Dust pumping through the valves
Control bringing on
Palpitations like a steady beat
Fooled the hell out of me
Now that I know
Now that I understand
I'm holding a funeral for me
Breaking out this chain
Here's my own eulogy
She lived she laughed
She smiled she died
Wait back up for a minute
What about she loved
What about she was loved
There you go
Who can live without love