Friend of 24 years deleted me from her life
I've been friends with M. since I was a kid. We went through a ton of stuff together and always were there for each other. In 2014, I moved out of my country (Russia), but we were still very close, even though she stayed in Russia
Obviously things in Russia became quite tense this February. I said that maybe it would be a good idea to leave the country, but she didn't want to. Fair enough, maybe things will not be so bad, who knows.
Fast forward to September, and now things seem to have gotten bad, pretty much everyone knows that people are about to start getting drafted. I worry for her and her husband, propose to pay for her tickets out of Russia. She proposed to talk about it in a couple of days.
Now, in a couple of days, there are rumors that borders are about to be closed. Everyone is panicking, we're looking at the absolutely skyrocketing prices and exorbitantly expensive tickets rapidly disappearing. Turns out, the tickets for her and her husband are going to cost 3.3k USD, while I expected it to be 800 tops.
So the tickets available are: 30th of September for 3k or 4th of October for 800. I'm not sure what to do, M. says that whatever decision I make, she won't hold it against me. I talk to my husband, and while we could theoretically pay that much for those tickets, it would be basically all of our currently available money, and we have a mortgage to pay in a week. Plus, the alleged day of borders becoming closed was the 28th, so there is a chance that even were we to buy those tickets, they would just be wasted. And M. and her husband already have a loan on their hands, so we whatever sum we spend, we would likely never see it back, and that's fine, but not for this amount.
So I feel terrible about it, but I say that we're currently not able to afford it. She says okay, I say please keep me posted.
Needless to say, she never talked to me again after that. She deleted our ENTIRE years-long message history and photos for both of us, since we used Telegram, as well as deleting me from Instagram.
I feel extremely angry and sad. It's very insulting to be discarded like that after years and years of friendship. I don't think I did anything wrong, besides maybe giving the false impression that I would be able to afford their tickets regardless of their cost. None of this would happen if I didn't propose it in the first place. She spends MONTHS doing absolutely nothing to leave the country, and then spends additional days not securing the tickets immediately when I proposed (when they still might have been available at a reasonable rate), and I get punished for her indecision.
I just don't understand what is going on in her head and questioning everything I thought was true about her and our friendship. Silently deleting our chat is just such a shitty passive-aggressive move, I never imagined she would do this to me. I would at least hope I deserved an explanation first, anything. It hurts and I'm angry, especially because it all feels so unfair.
Obviously things in Russia became quite tense this February. I said that maybe it would be a good idea to leave the country, but she didn't want to. Fair enough, maybe things will not be so bad, who knows.
Fast forward to September, and now things seem to have gotten bad, pretty much everyone knows that people are about to start getting drafted. I worry for her and her husband, propose to pay for her tickets out of Russia. She proposed to talk about it in a couple of days.
Now, in a couple of days, there are rumors that borders are about to be closed. Everyone is panicking, we're looking at the absolutely skyrocketing prices and exorbitantly expensive tickets rapidly disappearing. Turns out, the tickets for her and her husband are going to cost 3.3k USD, while I expected it to be 800 tops.
So the tickets available are: 30th of September for 3k or 4th of October for 800. I'm not sure what to do, M. says that whatever decision I make, she won't hold it against me. I talk to my husband, and while we could theoretically pay that much for those tickets, it would be basically all of our currently available money, and we have a mortgage to pay in a week. Plus, the alleged day of borders becoming closed was the 28th, so there is a chance that even were we to buy those tickets, they would just be wasted. And M. and her husband already have a loan on their hands, so we whatever sum we spend, we would likely never see it back, and that's fine, but not for this amount.
So I feel terrible about it, but I say that we're currently not able to afford it. She says okay, I say please keep me posted.
Needless to say, she never talked to me again after that. She deleted our ENTIRE years-long message history and photos for both of us, since we used Telegram, as well as deleting me from Instagram.
I feel extremely angry and sad. It's very insulting to be discarded like that after years and years of friendship. I don't think I did anything wrong, besides maybe giving the false impression that I would be able to afford their tickets regardless of their cost. None of this would happen if I didn't propose it in the first place. She spends MONTHS doing absolutely nothing to leave the country, and then spends additional days not securing the tickets immediately when I proposed (when they still might have been available at a reasonable rate), and I get punished for her indecision.
I just don't understand what is going on in her head and questioning everything I thought was true about her and our friendship. Silently deleting our chat is just such a shitty passive-aggressive move, I never imagined she would do this to me. I would at least hope I deserved an explanation first, anything. It hurts and I'm angry, especially because it all feels so unfair.
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