I hate him.

I wanna end things with my bestfriend but i just cant. Hes the reason im depressed and he keeps saying hes gonna leave but says its what I want?? I dont want that but its whats best for us. Our friendship is so toxic. We rarely talk and when we do we just fight. What should i do..im planning to send him a paragraph but i dont wanna end our friendship even though its whats best.