Over the years, I've learned to live with the holes.

@HikingMan I know you aren't afraid of asking. What if these were glitches too? You won't know unless you ask. I never unfriend unless I tell someone why. That is my way. Others do as they want. You are not alone in how you are feeling. Again, you matter to me.

@PoetryNEmotion If the others were glitches too, I'd suspect that some Admin or Mod is infatuated with some of my friends that have been kind to me and has taken matter into their own hands to try and quietly disrupt our continued discourse with each other.

That's more of a conspiracy theory of sorts that I refuse to take part in.

It can't be a mistake that multiple people seem to have unfollowed me in such a short time span.
I'm more of the mind that I have said or done something in some type of toxic manner that has driven these people away.

I knew better than to re-emerge.
Yet I did it anyway.

The time for my passing has come and now I just need to decide how I will go about it.
After all, this place has served as a repository for things I'd rather not lose like I did when I deleted my original account on EP.
Therefore, The Snowdog's demise must be carefully planned and executed, and it is likely to take a small bit of time.

I assume my participation over the coming weeks and months to be minimal at best.

I'm always honest and upright.
This post is as honest as they come.

I find myself tonight..., unwanted and uncaring.

I can live in my darkness.
I just won't wish it upon the world.

Peace to you.
May all of your dreams come to fruition.
Just don't ever dream of me.
I have to go see a Bear about what I bear....

@HikingMan Again, I don't know what happened. If my removal was a glitch...Someone or something causes the problems. I am not technologically gifted. You returned for a reason(s). You are not unwanted or uncaring. That is in your mind. Change your mindset. You will do what you will do. I cannot change that. Your darkness has never scared me. Not in the daytime or at 3 am. I shall dream of whom and of what I wish. Don't let this place drive you away, my friend, unless you truly want to be gone.

@Magenta Honesty is so important. Hi, M. Love to you. Communication is limited online no matter how well we know our friends here. We may hold hands, yet we cannot see faces and expressions and feelings in the same moments as we offer our words. That is why we need to be clear. I would never remove anyone that I truly cared about. They would have to hurt me very deeply or greatly offend me, and I would certainly tell them first. Friends are precious to me, here or there. Have a beautiful day, M.

@Magenta I have only ever been honest here.

Today was a day of stark self-reflection as I searched for whatever toxicity I harbor that would cause 7 people to unfriend me without a word in a very short span of time.

I unfollowed all of them so as to avoid commenting in places I'm not wanted accidentally. Possibly causing ill will, and further alienating anyone. That was a thing I worried about most. For if they removed me due to being uncomfortable, it's likely that my continued comments would have also been misunderstood and unwelcome.

Anyways, I'm beginning to think that I may have been better off if I hadn't decided to re-emerge (for lack of a better word). It might have been better to try and keep to myself as much as possible.

I'm not sure what I'll do in the end.
I think I just might fade off again....

@HikingMan You care about people who matter to you and this, to a degree, applies to strangers here even. Nothing wrong about that. I am glad you returned here. Your honesty and your compassion and your empathy are valued. You will do what you have to. I just wish you to be happy here and there, my friend.

@iamonfire696 It's fine really when it's looked at from all angles.
I have recently gone through some things that affected the mannerisms of my posts for a while.
It's actually quite possible that these folks had removed me some time ago and I just never noticed ?
It's not like I ever go into my friends list that often.

It just came as a shock of sorts.

We all come here to wile-away some hours as we plod along in our lives.
All of us seeking our own type of entertainments from this place.
Far be it for me to assume that any particular person here will view me as a person they like to interact with.

SW is a weird and sometimes unfriendly space.
It's also quite compassionate and loving at times.
And as I said many times..., the world of online interactions in changing.
Especially in a place such as this where it's very hard to know anyone in a true and deep sense.

I'm glad to know you.
I hope the best for you.
You do not need to be sorry for any of it.
It is what it is and in the grand scheme of my life it is but a sliver in a finger..., easily removed and placed aside.

I do regret 2 of the losses and may at some point attempt to reach out to ascertain the truth.
But it won't be soon.
Like I said..., I fear the unwanted answer to that question.

@HikingMan You are very right about this place. It can be a source of support and compassion or it can be filled with hate. I get both here and the hate has made me think twice about leaving.

Honestly I really think people forget that there is a real live human on the other side of the screen and the things you say have meaning whether it’s good or bad.

I understand why you won’t reach out now. I am not sure if I would at this point either. Sometimes the unknown is easier than the truth.

I am glad to know you too. You feel like a real genuine person which is hard to find here. Thank you for taking your time to reply to me 💖.

@iamonfire696
As real as they come and will always be me without reservation.
I would actually be willing to bet that I have more personal information posted on this site than any other member.

But as it's all parsed out throughout hundreds of posts and thousands of public replies..., a person just encountering me would have to do their due diligence to find it all.

Thank you for your kindness and comments.
It's cool to talk through shit sometimes