I'm a toxic friend. No wonder I always end up without one. Any other people with borderline feel the same?

I cannot share my friend. I. Just. Can. Not. Okay???? My time with my friend is exclusively MYYYY time with my friend. I don't want others to interrupt or come sit with us or talk to my friend. I'm gonna do everything to keep other people at bay. Ugh. Why am I like this??? A voice inside me tells me DON'T BE A CRAZY OBSESSIVE JEALOUS IDIOT. But that's exactly what I end up being in the moment. I think my best friend can't breathe because of me. I think I suffocate him. I'm disgusting. Truly a loathsome existence. I wouldn't even be friends with me! Help.

Edit: I do this because I've mostly been the person kept at bay most of my life by different friend groups so I feel I should be entitled to do the same and that my friend should cooperate because every other person used to cooperate with their friends. I just feel that for once I deserve the kind of superior exclusive friendship that everyone else gets to experience. Esp my bullies at work.