I'm an awful friend
I'll preface this by saying I understand depression effects different people differently. I know what it's like to not be able to get out of bed and to have nothing to live for. When I was in my worst depression I was 20lbs underweight and barely took care of myself but I still went to work. fake it till you make it babyy
When my roommate/best friend and I moved in together she was taking leave from her work for mental health reasons which she has her doctors approval. She's left work before we moved in together because of her depression. She's taking another month off now due to depression
She's not working again. I'm cleaning up after her and taking care of her puppy that I didn't want her to get. I'm terrified she's going to lose her job. I can't be in another relationship where I'm paying for someone else's bills and rent. I can afford it less than I could the first time. I get frustrated she doesn't work because I do even if I want to die. I compare our lives and I get mad at myself for doing that because we both had awful events in our younger lives, but even though I have moved on some ways from mine, she can't let go. She can't let go of the memories it's time to move on from, she can't let go of her things
I feel frustrated at her. I want her to be higher functioning like me. I want to come home and not clean up after her while I play with her puppy so he doesn't spend all day in his crate
But I'm going to try to be a better friend and spend more time with her and bug her about scheduling her therapy appointments and to clean up her space
I don't like to talk about my feelings with people and selfishly it makes me not want to hear theirs sometimes. I deal with my own and don't want to be involved in others. It's kind of messed up 🙃🙃 I just want everyone to ignore their problems all the time because I can do that with mine
But she needs my help and I'm going to help her and hopefully I can
When my roommate/best friend and I moved in together she was taking leave from her work for mental health reasons which she has her doctors approval. She's left work before we moved in together because of her depression. She's taking another month off now due to depression
She's not working again. I'm cleaning up after her and taking care of her puppy that I didn't want her to get. I'm terrified she's going to lose her job. I can't be in another relationship where I'm paying for someone else's bills and rent. I can afford it less than I could the first time. I get frustrated she doesn't work because I do even if I want to die. I compare our lives and I get mad at myself for doing that because we both had awful events in our younger lives, but even though I have moved on some ways from mine, she can't let go. She can't let go of the memories it's time to move on from, she can't let go of her things
I feel frustrated at her. I want her to be higher functioning like me. I want to come home and not clean up after her while I play with her puppy so he doesn't spend all day in his crate
But I'm going to try to be a better friend and spend more time with her and bug her about scheduling her therapy appointments and to clean up her space
I don't like to talk about my feelings with people and selfishly it makes me not want to hear theirs sometimes. I deal with my own and don't want to be involved in others. It's kind of messed up 🙃🙃 I just want everyone to ignore their problems all the time because I can do that with mine
But she needs my help and I'm going to help her and hopefully I can
