I've been ignoring a close friend lately & I feel bad about it

It's mainly because I know she's gonna ask how I'm doing or what's been going on & I don't have an answer for any of that. At least not an answer I wanna give.

I have 17 unread messages from her & 6 missed calls by now. I just feel like a bad friend

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

Starcrossed · 41-45, F

I struggle with this too. A lot. And the more I need space the more one friend smothers. Its exhausting but a very old basically family friend I do care for.

My therapist reminded to think of which is more uncomfortable, constantly noticing them checking on you and fretting about your avoidance- or the uncomfortableness of a quick boundary explaining you need space.

She said to ask myself - What are my motivations for not putting up a boundary...would I rather feel uncomfortable during a conversation or to continue feel guilty and ashamed I'm avoiding the conversation?
...When put that way I want to choose momentary uncomfortableness over guilt and shame.

ETA sorry you're feelin' in a funk. 🤗

ChiefWalksWith40oz · 26-30

@Starcrossed that's an interesting take on it. I guess I'd rather tell her than anything. My other friends are fine with me just saying I'm alright then moving on but she likes to talk a lot 😂 which I love about her but it can be a bit much at times like now. Thanks for the insight

Starcrossed · 41-45, F

@ChiefWalksWith40oz you are most welcome.