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DomMan67 路 56-60, M
This will be a long answer so bare with me.
I think our childhoods don't help us. We read or get read fairytales and we believe that is the goal. Then we get a bit of life experience and hopefully some exposure to statistics and realize how random and unpredictable that "soulmate" outcome actually is.
Do soulmates exist? Yes. Do we have any real chance of knowing who our soulmate is in advance? No.
Now there will be some that say "Oh I knew it the moment I saw him or her." Well so did about 999,999 for every 1 of you and it didn't work out that way for them.
The reality is that in order for us to find that soulmate we have to find someone that grows / matures at the same speed and in the same ways we do. Otherwise we run into incompatibles that tend to get larger as time passes.
Those incompatibles over time are what lead to us to falling out of love. 10-15 years after being with someone you truly believed was "the one", you can find you don't even know the person anymore. Yes communication is important but communication won't solve incompatibilities.
Of course communication is supposed to lead to compromise but in reality compromise often means someone had to give up what they wanted for the other person to be happy. Consequently over time communication often leads to topics you know that further discussion will lead to an argument so they must be avoided.
Ultimately we need someone that walks the same path we do and that is not knowable at the time we take the plunge.
I think our childhoods don't help us. We read or get read fairytales and we believe that is the goal. Then we get a bit of life experience and hopefully some exposure to statistics and realize how random and unpredictable that "soulmate" outcome actually is.
Do soulmates exist? Yes. Do we have any real chance of knowing who our soulmate is in advance? No.
Now there will be some that say "Oh I knew it the moment I saw him or her." Well so did about 999,999 for every 1 of you and it didn't work out that way for them.
The reality is that in order for us to find that soulmate we have to find someone that grows / matures at the same speed and in the same ways we do. Otherwise we run into incompatibles that tend to get larger as time passes.
Those incompatibles over time are what lead to us to falling out of love. 10-15 years after being with someone you truly believed was "the one", you can find you don't even know the person anymore. Yes communication is important but communication won't solve incompatibilities.
Of course communication is supposed to lead to compromise but in reality compromise often means someone had to give up what they wanted for the other person to be happy. Consequently over time communication often leads to topics you know that further discussion will lead to an argument so they must be avoided.
Ultimately we need someone that walks the same path we do and that is not knowable at the time we take the plunge.
