Well i'm in a bit of a crisis at the moment

See I don't listen to people no more that give me advice . I'm in a lot of pain . I know the answers are inside me . How do you get to the point of understanding .
Let say if someone gave you advice about a situation about a month ago . Would it be still valid in your life up today or is it a form of brain washing . Do it be still valid or let say anybody that gives you advice , it goes away doesn't it .
So the question I'm asking myself is do we all carry or own cross just like Jesus did and it that pain going to have answer on your next life . It's like what they God be there on judgement day at the gates . Is that the whole purpose of suffering .
I'm just a empty place in my life right now and my problem is that I don't listen to people cause I know myself and I'm in turmoil , or are my afraid that there putting wrong and that's why I don't listen .
I'm sick to death of suffering . I don't want Christs role .
I live a good life and I find the Devil is trying to destroy it .
Before when I heard a person going on about the Devil I thought he was off his game . I know what he's talking about now.
There's always a battle .
The flesh and the soul