Advice needed

I am getting really uncomfortable about my friend's intentions. She seems overly interested in my boyfriend. She is always asking about him and he had been away for a few days. She phoned me asking was he back and could she meet up with the both of us. I said no cos I wanted some alone time with him. I had seen her only the previous night also.
When I have invited her along, she seems to be overly flirtatious and I am getting fed up. I don't want her along at all when he is there and the way she is behaving is killing my friendship with her.
She once admitted that she thinks "all is fair in love and war" and would make a play for another woman's boyfriend or even husband. Her current boyfriend is someone who was previously with a former friend of hers, and she is now not happy with him.
So...I don't want her along at all when I am with him, and the way she keeps asking about him is making me decidedly uncomfortable. It's making me feel anxious and depressed. I like to see her otherwise, but quite often when she is with me on my own she makes phone calls to other people and seems distracted. I have asked a couple of my boyfriends friends what they think and to tell me if am just being paranoid, and they said I am not and to be very wary.

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HypnoKitten · 41-45, M

Mmmm.. that is a tricky one if you don't want to lose her as a friend. There's so much that you can only guess at from the whole history and subtle interactions, and can't be guessed at from a few lines. I suppose in my mind I usually play out the math in simple tables. If you keep her as a friend and don't tell her you're uncomfortable then eventually you resent her and lose her as a friend. If you tell her you may or may not lose her - but now there's a chance you won't lose her.

Buuuut with that said? There is another route that is much much harder for most people, and involves a lot of challenge and growth. So what *I* would do (not saying you, you are the only one who knows you) is I would talk with my partner about my fears. My partner would re-assure me (not guessing at this, I love and trust her completely and vice versa - no matter how many lovers we've each seen the other with) and would likely keep her distance from the suitor (because seeing me hurt / uncomfortable would be worse than anything she could possible gain). Not talking hypothetically, there was one suitor who made me uncomfortable and she dropped him like a bad habit. And I have had a beautiful potential (and fairly sure) playmate who disrespected my partner - didn't even cross my mind (for more than a moment while the blood readjusted in me) to do anything with that woman. Saying 'no' to temptation is much harder for poly, in a monogomous relationship there's an even greater chance he'd keep his distance or ignore the flirting.. but it just soooo comes down to the strength of your relationship, trusting each other, their current connection, her skills at seduction.. so yea, potentially harder route - easier to just talk with her up-front.

Oh, or set her up with someone to distract her :)