Baby potato kids and whatnot
I don’t have kids.. and I don’t want kids..
Don’t get me wrong, I really love kids. I think they are incredibly cute and smart and I am so emotional with them and protective of them. I saw my colleague’s kid the other day and I just loved her through what was like a 10 minute interaction. If I had a kid, I would probably be so incredibly responsible to ensure I am doing the right thing, and that I am raising a kind, well behaved, hopefully free of mental issues, adult. That I am raising someone fair, opinionated, ambitious and driven to add value. I don’t want to brag, but I will say, someone like me, less all the mental hurdles I have, and less all the missed opportunities.
But.. despite how much I appreciate and love kids, I just somehow never crave or feel that I want to have kids. I am too driven that I want to see achievements and output reflected in my own actions and not in my kids’ actions. As I get older, I really don’t have the slightest fear or doubt in me that I am missing out on something, that I need to make sure that I don’t miss my chance.. Especially with today’s advancement.. I can freeze my eggs if I want, and this did cross my mind, but I really never took it seriously… I just don’t feel that this is important to me, to be very honest..
And I am not cynical, when people tell me about their experiences with kids, I recognize how unique that is, and I recognize how meaningful it must feel, but I still don’t think I need these specific experiences, to feel that meaningfulness. If I were in their place, YES I would feel meaning. If I ever had a kid (I hope not) I am very sure that I would have a lot of positive and meaning derived out of it, so I am not denying this part. I know it without even going through the experience itself. But the question is, do I need it? The answer is a clear no. I think you can derive meaning through many things in life, and having kids is just one of them. As for myself, I want to derive meaning and excitement through my own experiences and achievements, not through my kids’. Call it selfishness or being self centered, I really don’t care. It is just how I feel and function.
I am a loner (soon i will undergo a formal autism assessment because I screened positive for it), and maybe this is contributing to it. I really don’t know 🥔🤷🏽♀ I just know that I have been always a loner, and a person who is different from everyone else .. Not in a good or bad way, just different, and incredibly socially selective.
Despite that I am a very responsible person, and very caring when I love someone ( I have been told by various romantic partners: “you would make a great mom”)! It is because I treat them and care for them as if they are kids, and i love doing i. It gives me satisfaction.. So yes, I do think I would make a great mom.
Despite that, I genuinely don’t want kids. I want to just take care of myself and of my partner. I don’t want the responsibility, even if I am a responsible person, even though , if I had a kid (hopefully not) I would take full responsibility, but I don’t want it. I want to influence the world and youth (yes I am old enough to say influence youth lol that doesn’t sit well with me lol) through my work, behavior, and own opinions .. not through raising a “perfect adult”, and quite frankly, I think this is where I would fail..
Because given everything I know about myself, I know I would give it my all to raise that perfect person, give them all the opportunities in the world, teach them everything I know and wished someone had taught me earlier on, and really just work towards making them perfect … do all of that only to be disappointed at the end… simply because no one is perfect.
I really don’t want this responsibility, expectations, or company. I am good as I am. I am a loner and I love it.. I am an ambitious person, an over achiever. and I love it.. I am keeping things as they are and I don’t see my mind changing about this, especially that I think I have reached an age threshold, where I can confidently say, this is really how I feel.
Don’t get me wrong, I really love kids. I think they are incredibly cute and smart and I am so emotional with them and protective of them. I saw my colleague’s kid the other day and I just loved her through what was like a 10 minute interaction. If I had a kid, I would probably be so incredibly responsible to ensure I am doing the right thing, and that I am raising a kind, well behaved, hopefully free of mental issues, adult. That I am raising someone fair, opinionated, ambitious and driven to add value. I don’t want to brag, but I will say, someone like me, less all the mental hurdles I have, and less all the missed opportunities.
But.. despite how much I appreciate and love kids, I just somehow never crave or feel that I want to have kids. I am too driven that I want to see achievements and output reflected in my own actions and not in my kids’ actions. As I get older, I really don’t have the slightest fear or doubt in me that I am missing out on something, that I need to make sure that I don’t miss my chance.. Especially with today’s advancement.. I can freeze my eggs if I want, and this did cross my mind, but I really never took it seriously… I just don’t feel that this is important to me, to be very honest..
And I am not cynical, when people tell me about their experiences with kids, I recognize how unique that is, and I recognize how meaningful it must feel, but I still don’t think I need these specific experiences, to feel that meaningfulness. If I were in their place, YES I would feel meaning. If I ever had a kid (I hope not) I am very sure that I would have a lot of positive and meaning derived out of it, so I am not denying this part. I know it without even going through the experience itself. But the question is, do I need it? The answer is a clear no. I think you can derive meaning through many things in life, and having kids is just one of them. As for myself, I want to derive meaning and excitement through my own experiences and achievements, not through my kids’. Call it selfishness or being self centered, I really don’t care. It is just how I feel and function.
I am a loner (soon i will undergo a formal autism assessment because I screened positive for it), and maybe this is contributing to it. I really don’t know 🥔🤷🏽♀ I just know that I have been always a loner, and a person who is different from everyone else .. Not in a good or bad way, just different, and incredibly socially selective.
Despite that I am a very responsible person, and very caring when I love someone ( I have been told by various romantic partners: “you would make a great mom”)! It is because I treat them and care for them as if they are kids, and i love doing i. It gives me satisfaction.. So yes, I do think I would make a great mom.
Despite that, I genuinely don’t want kids. I want to just take care of myself and of my partner. I don’t want the responsibility, even if I am a responsible person, even though , if I had a kid (hopefully not) I would take full responsibility, but I don’t want it. I want to influence the world and youth (yes I am old enough to say influence youth lol that doesn’t sit well with me lol) through my work, behavior, and own opinions .. not through raising a “perfect adult”, and quite frankly, I think this is where I would fail..
Because given everything I know about myself, I know I would give it my all to raise that perfect person, give them all the opportunities in the world, teach them everything I know and wished someone had taught me earlier on, and really just work towards making them perfect … do all of that only to be disappointed at the end… simply because no one is perfect.
I really don’t want this responsibility, expectations, or company. I am good as I am. I am a loner and I love it.. I am an ambitious person, an over achiever. and I love it.. I am keeping things as they are and I don’t see my mind changing about this, especially that I think I have reached an age threshold, where I can confidently say, this is really how I feel.
31-35, F
