Shit that needs to get done

I wish I wasn't such a sentimental foolish, potato.. Sorting out through my stuff, wouldn't have been that difficult. I have been trying to sort out some papers to see which I need to get rid of, and which I will take with me to Canada. This has been going on for like a few days now, when anyone would have finished this task in two hours max.. It is because I linger and get nostalgic...I think, and then I sip coffee... then I listen to some music, and have a cry... and I think over and over again if I should throw something..

Some papers remind me of bad days... really bad days. Like when I first moved into my new apartment, only two weeks after my mother passed away, and I was feeling lost and out of place... There were a lot of things that I had to do for the first time in my life, and I wasn't sure how they are done... Something as silly as getting a filter for the water for example... and, I am not saying that figuring out that stuff is difficult, but when you are not in a good mental state to begin with, and are already feeling alone/insecure/unsupported and are mourning a loss, then these simple stuff become huge tasks...

But that's not the point... Point is, Why do I need to leave papers that remind me of that day???? Or other days at the hospital with my mother?? Like really, what good could come out of it...

....But I want to keep them.. YET I DO NOT WANT TO CARRY WITH ME ALL SORTS OF CRAP. I want a fresh start, and I don't want this mess of things lying around.

The Syrians have a word to describe someone with a heart like mine, and i just love it, but it is very difficult to translate to English... In a way, we could say, "torn up heart" but I don't think it is the right fit... Whatever.. shit needs to get done.. I think I will try throw things away, because in a couple of years, I will probably not remember that I had them...