I Love Coffee
What Sort Of Coffee Do You Drink ??... IN HONOUR of International Coffee Day, (sept29), we are
pulling this story out of the archives so you can
once again find out what kind of coffee drinker you are.
IF COFFEE could speak, imagine the stories it could tell. But seeing as it can't, we asked a team of modern baristas to spill the beans on their customers to
news.com.au.
Merlo Coffee baristas reckon they can tell a lot about their customers by the type of coffee they order.
So, what does your brew say about you?
Cafe Latte The latte-lover tends to be a bit softer, like a milky
latte. They can be more romantic than others and are probably still friends with their first crush! They are the ones who always stay back at work (and actually
mean to) without ever complaining.
They would bring in their own heater and high-altitude gear rather than ask for the heating to be turned up.
They're generally pretty nice people.
Flat White Straight-up types. No fuss or pomp here. On the
downside, flat-whiter drinkers may lack imagination. These people are not early adopters -
they probably still have their Nokia mobile phones.
But they will tell it exactly how it is (if your butt looks big and you ask them, they WILL tell you). They're traditionalists.
Long Black This person is all about strength and a long black
suits stamina needs. This person is busy, fast and on the go (as kids their parents would tell them they had ants in their pants). They also can tend to show off.
Cappuccino The capp-lover doesn't really indulge in their coffee as much as they should. They probably had their
first 'capp' when they were about 25 and haven't deviated since. They are still a child at heart who
really loves that chocolate sprinkle on the top!
They are probably from the country.
Affogato Beware - the person who opts for the Affagato
(scoop of vanilla ice cream in a martini glass with a shot of espresso on the side) may also like a 'little here and a little there'. These types find it hard to
settle down in a relationship, a job or whatever.
They're often reading five books at once and rarely finish any of them. They join the gym, go twice and talk about it thereafter. Unless of course the Affogato is ordered as dessert, in which case, they
have excellent taste.
Short Black The purist. The person who orders the authentic
espresso takes life and themselves very seriously.
They have no time for fancy adornments like milk or a dusting of chocolate. They want to get straight to business. They are often CEOs and leaders. They
make decisions quickly and rarely back down. There's not much 'grey' in this person's life which
could annoy those around them.
Macchiato What about the person who orders the short macchiato, or 'short mac' to those cool enough to drink it? This is the tipple of choice for the coffee-
savvy young professional. They work and play fast, so have fun but be careful of burnout! This coffee is on the rise. As young gen Y-ers take over the coffee scene, the short mac is cool and everywhere.
Piccolo Latte Piccolo lattes are cool in the inner city these days.
It's a quick milky caffeine hit. But really, shouldn't you be having an espresso? These people are early
adopters - they see a trend and jump on it. Packpeople.
Vienna With whipped cream traditionally part of a Vienna,
the person who orders this regularly is one who likes
the finer things in life. They have high expectations, are demanding and a touch clingy. But they're also very loyal when all their ducks sit nicely in a row.
High maintenance.
Hot Mocha While this is a great order Après-skiing, it's probably not appropriate in most urban settings.
Those who order it are often drifters. They find it hard to settle down. They always want to be
somewhere else. They're constantly planning trips and dreaming about other places. Indecisive.
Hot Chocolate Beware of the hot chocolate-drinker. They suffer
from Aspirational Caffeine User Syndrome. They can be complete faux coffee-drinkers, posing as latte sippers since hot chocolate is now poured into takeaway cups. Trust issues here.
Mellocino Marshmallows, seriously? This person may be very in touch with their feelings but they're not great at dealing with reality. Consider this a red flag.
Chai Latte Excellent choice for after Bikram yoga, a 40km
bush walk or a spot of nude surfing. Cool.
Caramel Latte Another new, sweetened version of real coffee.
Watch for the inordinate amount of hair products,
tight jeans and sculpted eyebrows - in either sex.
They use lots of 'likes' in their speech, take lots of
Selfies and are always connected. Over-sharers.
Tea Tea drinkers are real, wholesome and deep-thinkers.
Beware the drinkers of newfangled flavoured teas.
Tea drinkers are usually early morning people and read books. Real books with pages and ink.
Ristretto - Another Purists Pour. This person is a staunch
perfectionist with unreasonably high standards. They can be controlling. They are likely a politician.
Iced Coffee The Clayton's Coffee. Great if you are a tradie and
can't find a barista open at 5am but that's about it.
If all the 'stars' in LA waltz around with iced Starbucks it doesn't mean we have to. It breaks so many rules that the coffee connoisseur holds dear to their heart.
The only way coffee should be taken cold is as a coffee martini!
pulling this story out of the archives so you can
once again find out what kind of coffee drinker you are.
IF COFFEE could speak, imagine the stories it could tell. But seeing as it can't, we asked a team of modern baristas to spill the beans on their customers to
news.com.au.
Merlo Coffee baristas reckon they can tell a lot about their customers by the type of coffee they order.
So, what does your brew say about you?
Cafe Latte The latte-lover tends to be a bit softer, like a milky
latte. They can be more romantic than others and are probably still friends with their first crush! They are the ones who always stay back at work (and actually
mean to) without ever complaining.
They would bring in their own heater and high-altitude gear rather than ask for the heating to be turned up.
They're generally pretty nice people.
Flat White Straight-up types. No fuss or pomp here. On the
downside, flat-whiter drinkers may lack imagination. These people are not early adopters -
they probably still have their Nokia mobile phones.
But they will tell it exactly how it is (if your butt looks big and you ask them, they WILL tell you). They're traditionalists.
Long Black This person is all about strength and a long black
suits stamina needs. This person is busy, fast and on the go (as kids their parents would tell them they had ants in their pants). They also can tend to show off.
Cappuccino The capp-lover doesn't really indulge in their coffee as much as they should. They probably had their
first 'capp' when they were about 25 and haven't deviated since. They are still a child at heart who
really loves that chocolate sprinkle on the top!
They are probably from the country.
Affogato Beware - the person who opts for the Affagato
(scoop of vanilla ice cream in a martini glass with a shot of espresso on the side) may also like a 'little here and a little there'. These types find it hard to
settle down in a relationship, a job or whatever.
They're often reading five books at once and rarely finish any of them. They join the gym, go twice and talk about it thereafter. Unless of course the Affogato is ordered as dessert, in which case, they
have excellent taste.
Short Black The purist. The person who orders the authentic
espresso takes life and themselves very seriously.
They have no time for fancy adornments like milk or a dusting of chocolate. They want to get straight to business. They are often CEOs and leaders. They
make decisions quickly and rarely back down. There's not much 'grey' in this person's life which
could annoy those around them.
Macchiato What about the person who orders the short macchiato, or 'short mac' to those cool enough to drink it? This is the tipple of choice for the coffee-
savvy young professional. They work and play fast, so have fun but be careful of burnout! This coffee is on the rise. As young gen Y-ers take over the coffee scene, the short mac is cool and everywhere.
Piccolo Latte Piccolo lattes are cool in the inner city these days.
It's a quick milky caffeine hit. But really, shouldn't you be having an espresso? These people are early
adopters - they see a trend and jump on it. Packpeople.
Vienna With whipped cream traditionally part of a Vienna,
the person who orders this regularly is one who likes
the finer things in life. They have high expectations, are demanding and a touch clingy. But they're also very loyal when all their ducks sit nicely in a row.
High maintenance.
Hot Mocha While this is a great order Après-skiing, it's probably not appropriate in most urban settings.
Those who order it are often drifters. They find it hard to settle down. They always want to be
somewhere else. They're constantly planning trips and dreaming about other places. Indecisive.
Hot Chocolate Beware of the hot chocolate-drinker. They suffer
from Aspirational Caffeine User Syndrome. They can be complete faux coffee-drinkers, posing as latte sippers since hot chocolate is now poured into takeaway cups. Trust issues here.
Mellocino Marshmallows, seriously? This person may be very in touch with their feelings but they're not great at dealing with reality. Consider this a red flag.
Chai Latte Excellent choice for after Bikram yoga, a 40km
bush walk or a spot of nude surfing. Cool.
Caramel Latte Another new, sweetened version of real coffee.
Watch for the inordinate amount of hair products,
tight jeans and sculpted eyebrows - in either sex.
They use lots of 'likes' in their speech, take lots of
Selfies and are always connected. Over-sharers.
Tea Tea drinkers are real, wholesome and deep-thinkers.
Beware the drinkers of newfangled flavoured teas.
Tea drinkers are usually early morning people and read books. Real books with pages and ink.
Ristretto - Another Purists Pour. This person is a staunch
perfectionist with unreasonably high standards. They can be controlling. They are likely a politician.
Iced Coffee The Clayton's Coffee. Great if you are a tradie and
can't find a barista open at 5am but that's about it.
If all the 'stars' in LA waltz around with iced Starbucks it doesn't mean we have to. It breaks so many rules that the coffee connoisseur holds dear to their heart.
The only way coffee should be taken cold is as a coffee martini!
