When I look at you I see a seaweed covered rock

@GLITTER No please do go on

@DDonde it was the summer of ‘76, and I needed a job, I wanted so badly to buy this gazebo, it had a little chimney on it which reminded me of my uncle, he was a chimney sweep. So I got a job at the tuna factory. First day on the job they said, you’re on QC, check that tuna, post that tuna. So that’s what I did. Months seem to have passed, checking and posting tuna. The dinner bell rang one Wednesday lunchtime. I thought great, tuna sandwiches again 🙄 so I walk into the canteen and get my tuna sandwich and low and behind there’s a seal sat right in the middle of the room, upon a briny stony. Something came over me, I wanted that briny stone. So I went over and I slapped that seal. Just once. Firmly on the buttocks. The seal, thought this was some sort of roleplay and gave me back what I’d give it, a firm slap to the buttocks. Except his arm was way bigger than mine. I flew through the air at rocket speed, straight out of the canteen and into my office. Tuna tins flew everywhere as I slammed into one of the packing boxes. Carl, the intern, he was covering my lunch at the time. He didn’t notice I’d gone flying into the box and he was on his last check. He tumbled 109 cans of tuna on top of me and sealed the box for shipping.

I was delivered to Guernsey on the 25th September.

The end

@GLITTER 🤣 speechlesss