this evening the chef (me) is offering a most expensive starter

to coat your stomach so potential ulcers can heal. Your entree will be a myriad of pills, wrapped in thinly sliced steak, then dipped into a healthy amount of fortiflora. Please save room for dessert, a gut antibiotic.
After dinner you’re invited to the gentlemen’s smoking room (a blanket with a nebulizer under it)