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JustGoneNow No need to apologize. Public confrontations are always divisive, they always blow up in both parties faces. I'm sorry I wasn't online more to help provide some mediation for both parties, idk. It was probably rough for both of you.
I felt like by the time I was back online hours and hours later everyone was done talking about it or had chosen a side. Frankly, I think you both have very valid points and valid feelings. However discussing them publicly is probably not the best, but even so having advocates for both parties is important whether private or public when discussing something serious.
A certain label was thrown out that isn't applicable here imho. That label is for the kind of person who doesn't care, but actually thinks harming others is acceptable to meet their goals. You obviously care and don't want to cause harm and was horrified at the idea of harming someone.
However some kinds of interactions with people are easily very hazardous for both parties. Some kinds of interactions can easily become harassment because it's based on the impact it has on someone. Some harassment is due to predation. But lots of harrassment occurs based on misunderstandings and some ignorant lack of social skills, or lack of communication checks about consent and respect, and lack of support.
This is why HR in workplaces spend so much time on annual trainings about social skills, appropriate conduct in person, over phone, via computer, about sensitivity, respect, care, and educating people on what to do if they are feeling harassed so they have the support they need to report/speak up, get the problem addressed, investigated, and create a plan moving forward to make the environment safe for all again.
I recently helped mediate a situation at work in which certain personalities were not intentionally creating an unwelcoming and hurtful work environment. But they both were.
They needed help navigating what to do to talk it out, and the figure out what was needed in order to work together and both needed to make changes and get support when needed since neither are good at speaking up and will need daily support and check-ins for awhile,
This could easily be applicable on SW? There's alot of horny people sometimes on this site. I wonder how many interactions people would say is unwelcome attention that had a negative impact. I've always been a fighter, but I also understand staying quiet and hiding. And I think establishing boundaries is hard for some people. And reading other people's boundaries and consent is a skill that is hard for some people, and even harder if someone is hiding how they feel and going along with a conversation or action, they don't want to have.
Idk. My hope is that both parties here learn and grow in positive ways from this. That bystanders don't bother either party with the intention to create harm or blame but to call out anything they think is not good and support both people to make the best choices they can for themselves and others moving forward. The past cannot be changed, but the future is full of potential change, moving forward with better and more positive practices.
Don't forget that you are a good person. Keep working on yourself.🤗
