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Why am I so scared of food?

I am 230 pounds and hate myself 24/7. It is absolutely terrible and has caused panic attacks. Anyone have suggestions for losing weight? I really don't like this crappy feeling where I force myself to eat.
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[c=#359E00]how much is this 230 pounds in kgs?[/c]
fluteacorn · 22-25, F
@YukikoAmagi 104.326
@fluteacorn [c=#359E00]ohh[/c]