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Why am I so scared of food?

I am 230 pounds and hate myself 24/7. It is absolutely terrible and has caused panic attacks. Anyone have suggestions for losing weight? I really don't like this crappy feeling where I force myself to eat.
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Doomflower · 36-40, M
Consume fewer calories than you burn on a consistent basis. Drink lots of water. Exercise regularly even if it's just a little yoga at first. The most important thing is to be consistent.

Also...hating yourself is counter productive. Why would you take good care of someone you hate?
fluteacorn · 22-25, F
@Doomflower I have hated myself for 7 years, so it is hard to change.
Doomflower · 36-40, M
@fluteacorn yes change is hard. It is also a constant.